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How to combat the myth of having it all?

Another day, another attempt to try and find some way to balance it all

Talking to one of my friends it seems that we are all running frantically to try and keep up with ourselves.  She asked how on earth is she supposed to have it all?

How was she supposed to work, manage children, keep house and keep her sanity?

I wish I knew

I wish I could give her the magic wand / the manual that makes it all better

I wish I could demonstrate this mastery of motherhood, except I can’t

This has been One Of Those Weeks

Monday morning routine thrown out by a clingy Littlest, trying to help with spelling, mislaid car keys, trains slightly delayed, in work a crucial few minutes late…

And then One Of Those Work Days – not getting invited to a key meeting, trying to manage grumpy people, trying to cling onto something that looks like a career, trying to not be edged out of a job that I like to think I’m quite good at…

And trying not to be resentful about it all – plastering on the PollyAnna smile and making out I would so much rather be in the office trying to navigate this weird work world rather than be at home – continuing to hope that perhaps if you try and fake it, one day it becomes something you want to do?

Home is a mess – I need time we don’t have to sort, declutter, rationalise and then there are the boring daily chores that don’t ever go away

I’m worried about each of the small people – each has their own thing, something that we’re not paying as much attention to if we hadn’t bred a brood, they’re ok but it’s there as a niggle, a worry that I’m failing in some way

The list of things I should be doing and the list of things I haven’t done properly is endless, the list breeds like a burrow of rabbits every time I turn my back

There just is no space left

There definitely is no space for the little extra things I want to do – running (to save my sanity), crochet and knitting (again to save my sanity), sleep (sanity comes with sleep right?), time to work out how to fix some of this stuff – time I just don’t have

I’m out, I don’t have anything more left

The only thing I know for sure is that you cannot have it all – if having it all means being swamped by a tsunami of things you need to do, demands, lists, stuff

But what I do know it that I wouldn’t change this cluttered overly busy life

I love that our family bed is overly full of bodies, that we cram 5 of us into a space where 2 should properly

I love that our house is full of toys, noise, drying clothes – of course I’d love a beautiful uncluttered space but the chaos is there because of the stuff that each of them brings

I love that we are here, especially after all the time when we never thought we would

But is this having it all?  Probably not, but it certainly is having enough for me

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