When we first were told that Littlest’s birthmark was ‘rather extensive’ I didn’t go onto google
Why would I?
Afterall Dr Google only ever tells you that you have something horrible or are about to die so there really isn’t much point
I managed to go through our difficult pregnancy with Littler without ever typing IUGR, placental failure or any of the other quite frankly panic inducing phrases that were thrown around on the basis that it wouldn’t help me to know
Littlest has a venous malformation of an entire quadrant of his body
Admittedly we went in to see the consultant thinking it was Mongolian Bluespot which sounded like a sort of cocktail or the punchline of a rather involved joke and was something that wasn’t going to be a problem and would fade away in a few years
And we came out with something that sounded like extensive varicose veins and perhaps a little swelling in the tummy that we will have looked into in a couple of weeks
As with Littler I have thrown myself into focusing on caring for him – taking the headline view that this is not life limiting but life impacting and not having too much information at this stage and until today I had read only the GOSH page on this and left it at that (admittedly not feeling entirely reassured by the relatively small number of people they see with it but still incredibly thankful that in the greater scheme of things this is a relatively manageable thing for us all to deal with)
They say curiosity killed the cat – except it hasn’t it has given me images that won’t go away – I’ve now seen pictures of what the reality of this is likely to be. It isn’t a little bruise, a few obvious veins – potentially it is far worse.
It looks horribly painful, debilitating and especially when you know that what you see on the surface is tiny compared to how deep it goes into his leg
I know it could be worse, much worse but…
Poor Littlest – it is one thing to be told he will never be allowed to trampoline, it is quite another to see what the physical manifestation of why he can’t
Time to step away and remind myself that Dr Google is not my friend