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When the bottom falls out of your world

Some of this is going to be rather cryptic since there are things going on that I cannot blog about at the moment (if you know me in real life drop me a line and I can share some of the details)

Suffice to say that there was a point last week when I thought I was being overly paranoid – that the niggling worries I had were me being too anxious – and then on Friday morning everything suddenly hit a complete low, the bottom fell out of our world and we are still trying to patch back together what is left over. I do not know if we can ever really patch things back up to any resemblance of what we had before

I woke up this morning and for a second thought it might have all been a nightmare, it wasn’t

We have taught our girls that words can be incredibly cruel – that they are like toothpaste, once they are out you cannot push them back away no matter how hard you try – nobody can ever take these words away

2014 was supposed to be a better year for us – heck even the car blowing up 250 miles away whilst I was on my own at home with 3 children for the first time was something we could get through – this I am not so sure

I want to be strong, everyone tells me how strong I am, but I am struggling – I cannot stop crying, I feel sick, I just want to run away and hide

One the plus side I can count the blessings we do have – ¬†we all have our health, a roof over our heads and they do say what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger

I suspect this place will be a little schizophrenic until we come out the other end of this tunnel – I am writing it all down, writing on here has always been my way of sorting through the good and the bad that life throws at us and at some point I will publish it all

Until then, please can I ask you that you keep my family in your thoughts – you’ve already done so much, surrounding us with so much love and support on our journey to having Littlest with us that I don’t want to ask for more but we do need any help you can spare us

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