Funny how you forget just how all encompassing the newborn days really are – the haze that you stumble about in, the massive achievement that is crossing anything off the to do list and the realisation that there are a heck of a lot of things that can’t really be done one handed
Part of my brain is tick-tock-ing away counting down the time until I go back to work and trying to get me to Start Doing Stuff before I run out of time
The more realistic part of my brain is sat with me on the sofa, arms full of baby, trying to sort out breastfeeding (why is it harder this time around?) and trying to be kinder to myself and not beat myself up for not getting very much done each day – surely emptying the dishwasher, putting on some laundry and doing the odd bit of ironing is an achievement in itself?
Littlest is starting to become his own self – admittedly a very grumpy self at the moment, one that will scream for hours in the evenings unless placated with more milk (and even that doesn’t always work), that really doesn’t like to be put down but that is growing like a weed (a weed that has jumped from the 50th to 75th centile!)
This weekend is going to be a challenge – our first trip away overnight, our first time having to try and manage the evening scream / feed-fest with others around and my first time needing to be back in normal clothes…
But we are slowly starting to find our way – to be surprised by how loving Littler is to her little brother (something I was sure wasn’t going to be the case with all my worries about unhappy middle children), to find ways to cuddle 3 at a time despite only having 2 arms and one of those being exclusively reserved for the tiny person, to learn how to change boy nappies…
I’ve realised that knitting is a step too far – strangely even with the sling I can’t guarantee I can get to the end of a row before needing to do something else so I’m back doing easy peasy crochet, a little bit of normality in amongst the chaos
So the challenge for next week is to start getting out and about, to abandon the sofa and the fireside and to start seeing people again – baby step by baby step to start to emerge slowly from the haze