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Hormones are wonderful things

Ok when I say that hormones are wonderful things that is what I am feeling this exact minute, naturally I completely retain the right to burst into tears, throw some crockery and declare they are my worst enemy in about 5 minutes…

But here and now they seem to be pretty clever little devils

Somehow I have managed to get to 35 weeks pregnant (in my 36th week which means, gulp, that by the weekend this baby is more or less fully cooked) and suddenly, almost as if someone has flicked a switch and I am beginning to feel that I am pregnant (I know, always late to the party) and I can feel myself getting drawn in – to focus on this baby, to focus on my family, to focus on my home

Nearly 2 months ago work threw me headfirst into a new project – something very different, very challenging and very high profile – both scary and very absorbing and the sort of thing you absolutely give the heavily pregnant member of the team… typically it meant working through a couple of weekends and that my week off rapidly became 4 days of juggling work and family and one day of holiday but hey, it was something to get stuck into and that was ok

I’ve known that come the end of November I am going to have to hand over this project to someone else and have been feeling a bit put out that they get to do the exciting next phase of it and I get to have a baby. It isn’t helped by the person I’m handing over to being a bit of a go-getter, someone with sharp elbows, someone who in the normal course of things I’d have to arm wrestle to keep control and credit for my work

Except suddenly the hormones have kicked in

I am tired, very tired and suddenly I find myself starting to care a great deal less about the hustle and the bustle and more about how I can make sure I hand over things so that I can gradually reduce down my involvement

Yes there’s a part of me that is still worried about how I get credit for the work I have done but another part that is grateful that the time has come to gradually ease myself out of it all

I have two and a half weeks left at work and I can see a pathway where more and more of the critical work gets handed over, where there are few things I need to tidy up and then my to do list looks mostly empty

Cleverly the hormones have kicked in and suddenly the prospect of a bit of time to knit some small things for this baby, to sort out baby things from the roof and to get ready for Christmas with the girls seems terribly attractive

Also naps, naps seem really very important right here and now

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