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A teeny tiny miracle

When I say we are not quite sure how this has happened please don’t think I’m referring to the biological basics…

After nearly 3 years of trying, 4 miscarriages, a year of rather undignified and totally inconclusive investigations and procedures, some of which Mr M may eventually forgive me for, and having decided that we probably ought to draw a line under it all and move on we are expecting a much wanted, much hoped for baby at the end of this year

I haven’t dared to say anything since we found out because I have been so so worried that this pregnancy would end just like all of the others

The last couple of months have been incredibly hard – I have felt stuck trying to tick off the days whilst locked in an isolated world of intense worry and frequent panic

I’m afraid that I haven’t really been a terribly good friend or much use at all whilst I’ve been slogging my way through these days – I am sorry – the last couple of months have been a tunnel of work, eat, be sick, worry and sleep, to the exclusion of virtually everything else

The wonderful news is that we have ticked off 12 weeks – there was an uncooperative, beautiful little baby waving its hands away at the scan last week and we can now start sharing this lovely news and tentatively start to think that perhaps we might be lucky enough to have an arrival to look forward to between Christmas and New Year

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