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Will equality at home only exist when men clean the toilet without being asked?

The trouble with commuting is that on those days when you don’t get a seat you have half an hour to stand and ponder the stranger things in life

I’ve been thinking about housework and how the two halves of the population seem to view mess / dirt / the need for cleaning through two totally different filters

Housework is the last great battlefield of equality – statistics suggest that even when both partners work outside the home, the female half will still do the majority of the household chores – for most men I know household chores are something they do when asked but not something that registers on their list of thing that need actually doing as any matter of urgency

I’m by no means perfect but there’s some sort of compulsion that means sheets have to be changed regularly and tidying done (a massive carve out here for the bedroom – for some reason getting this tidy and under control only seems to happen on an irregular basis but hey I’m a grown up and if I want to not hang up my clothes at the end of the day and hang them on the wardrobe doors you know, I’m allowed to!)

Skirting around the fact that putting things on top of the dishwasher does not equal putting them away in the dishwasher and putting a beer bottle on the worksurface above the recycling bin is not quiet the same as actually, you know, putting it in the recycling bin, the big issue seems to be around toilets

Were the men in our generation brought up to think that there are a bunch of fairies who magically fly in, clean the bog and then disappear or do they genuinely think that toilet cleaning = women’s work and they just don’t need to bother themselves about it?

Even the most modern, equality focused man who is as happy doing DIY as cooking a three course meal AND not using every item in the kitchen AND putting the dirty dishes in the dishwasher afterwards seems to have a blind spot when it comes to cleaning the loo

I’ve tried the leave it and just see what happens but to be brutally honest there’s a point where I just can’t leave the loo in the state it is and have to stage an intervention

Mothers of sons I hope in amongst teaching your boys to iron, to cook, to sew a button back on and how to change a duvet without getting tangled in it please could you add in how to clean a loo and when to do so?

I reckon that equality in the home can only exist when men step up and clean the toilet without having to be asked

What do you think?

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11 comments to Will equality at home only exist when men clean the toilet without being asked?

  • I think you’re spot on. Am currently trying to educate my sons that the loo brush is not simply an ornament but something to be used when necessary – this would of course be much easier if my Husband subscribed to this belief, too…

  • Karen

    Soooooooooo true…I’m a lucky one who married a man who came already trained by a fab mother in washing, ironing, cooking and extreme tidying uppping….but clean a toilet – hell no!!

  • I am a working mum to a stay at home dad.
    We have a perfect garden, clean windows and a power washed patio, drive and cars. Fortunately we have washed dishes (no dishwasher), laundry washed and dried (and thrown in a basket) and he is a great chef.
    For no reason I can understand, cleaning the kitchen, bathroom, ironing, and putting clothes away falls into ‘the no-mans land’, which at a push he calls ‘women’s work’.
    He grew up without a dad, I have no idea where his perceptions come from.
    Needless to say our boys will grow up conversant with all of the above being tasks to make a happy home!
    It’s a random one, and one to be seen as a challenge.
    Bring it on!

    • Hannah Brewer

      Woman’s work… do we need to come around and have a little chat with him???

      Or alternatively can I borrow him for his cooking skills?

  • I remember a first date which ended up at the guy’s flat and when I “used” the toilet of this 2-men flat, there was no way I could even consider the prospect of even seeing this guy again.
    In fact, I saw myself out as quickly as possible. I still have the image of that toilet in my head.
    What is it with men and toilets? I mean, really? Please can any guys comment and say they do clean the toilet to give me faith in mankind!

    • Hannah Brewer

      I have no idea – it is a definite blind spot in my experience (starts remembering nasty bathrooms in Mr M’s shared house….)

  • I have a helpful, tidy husband, who will do whatever is asked. The problem is in the asking. He cannot ‘see’ that something needs to be done. Perfectly willing, even to clean a toilet, but would never, ever notice of his own accord that it needed doing!

    • Hannah Brewer

      You see that is EXACTLY it – it is about to having a mental list of beds need changing, worksurface needs tidying, washing needs doing and I find the whole reminding thing very very tedious

      Time for the next stage of evolution perhaps?

  • LTW

    I must be blessed. My husband has never left anything disgusting in the toilet for me to find. He was brought up a lot by his nan and she would never have put up with that!

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