I had to pop and buy some stamps at lunchtime – waiting in the queue I couldn’t escape the twee cards, the plastic heart shaped tat and the garish boxes of chocolates – the message was loud and clear ‘you aren’t properly loved unless your significant other has bought you something THIS ugly’
Because let’s face it 99% of things marketed as essential buys around 14th February are horrible – I’ll obviously exclude diamond rings, decadent chocolates and lingerie from Agent Provocateur. Obviously
There’s also the whole thing about having to go out, pay over the odds to sit jammed up next to another couple and to engage in a bout of ‘we’re being more romantic than’ over the course of a meal – yes some people might find that sort of thing fun but not me
It may have something to do with having been in a relationship for 15 years – things look very different in that first lust-driven relationship phase, heck you only have to look at Louise Mensch going on about how to keep the passion in your relationship to realise that things are TOTALLY different in the first year than after you’ve been together for a decade or more
This Valentines we’ll be at home – a nice bottle of red and some bread and cheese and avoiding the saccharine masses – who says you can’t find romance in the middle aged pursuit of agreeing that the world has gone mad?
I guess at least I should be thankful for one thing – the pressure to conform to the mass hysteria around Showing Each Other You’re In Love at least means that everyone charges out of the office at a reasonable time on one night of the year…
On a sort of similar note am I also alone in being utterly bemused by the idea of needing to be ‘extra fresh’ and to ‘clean up’ my ladybits?
Whilst these ads are sort of amusing (come on don’t wood and knob jokes make you snigger a bit too?) I’d never even heard of adult wipes let alone would have known what to do with them (by the way do you know babywipes get rid of all manner of stains – smoke, scuff marks, crayon, pencil – absolutely brilliant)
I was sort of aware of the trend to remove hair and add sparkles but had ignored it as being far too much like hard work – the idea that we all need to be scented (and presumably not scent by Mother Nature?) had totally passed me by
Last time I checked just being willing and awake seemed to be the best guarantee of getting a good time? When did it all get so complicated? Where can I sign up to boycott this?