I’ve hit a low patch – a really low, keep crying and just want to burrow under my duvet and not come out for a long time patch – I’m not totally sure what has kicked it off but suspect that last week’s news about another part of my useless body not doing something right might have something to do with it
Trouble is though that when you don’t tell people about the things that are going on behind your carefully crafted facade of life really all being ok is that they don’t know that there are things going on that may be less than tippy top
I’m rubbish at telling people personal things – I’m sure that there is a simple way to do it but when things aren’t going so well behind the scenes I’m never sure how to break the silence and let people know
My pregnancy with Littler was a case in point – some of our friends only knew I was pregnant when we announced her birth – they hadn’t known why I had disappeared from sight and knew nothing about the bed rest, hospital visits and all of the emotionally draining awfulness of it, they only saw that we turned down some invitations saying we couldn’t travel that far
Where we are now is a bit similar – my family don’t know what is going on and I’m not even sure if they know the full extent of our babymaking attempts, certainly it was a bit of a shock to be told to be careful not to feel broody when cuddling my newest nephew… um sorry have you really not added up that several miscarriages might mean broody doesn’t even start to cut it?
Anyway, I digress
I wish I knew how to fix things, I wish I knew how to make everything better and I wish I had the opportunity to take a duvet day
If anyone knows how to push this black cloud away please let me know