Or rather are there times when you should be selfish?
I don’t know the answer and I just can’t seem to work out where things at home need tweaking to get them sorted – all I know is that things aren’t right at the moment
Mr M is having a bit of a break at the moment – to be honest it has done him the world of good although it is a little amusing how people now do a double take before getting all enthused about how WELL he is looking. Looking back though he did look terrible – too much stress, too little exercise, too much junk food and too little daylight
All of which is well and good – tick in the right box and all that
Except he has decided that he is due a year of being selfish – that he has worked terribly hard for the last 15 years and it is his turn to be selfish and do what he wants
And he draws comparisons to the three months paid leave I have between jobs back in 2006 when I did a bit of travelling and the such like
The trouble is that life is different now – like it or not our life isn’t that of two 20-somethings with not much in the way of commitments and a reasonable disposable income
Here and now we do have two children, a mortgage and all the other trappings of middle age that aren’t that easy to walk away from
One of the other things that is upsetting me is the assumption that, despite the fact that I haven’t got a snowball’s chance in hell of having a similar patch of selfishness at some to-be-agreed-date in the future, is that I’ll happily sit back and let this go on and still happily be here when he decides that enough is enough and he isn’t going to be selfish any more
The actual selfishness isn’t big things, it could be an awful lot worse (admittedly I say that crossing all my fingers and toes) but when I’m working hard and having to get up early and go into work the knowledge that he is going back to bed after breakfast with the paper is a little, well, irking
But kudos to him and it is keeping his general knowledge up
No really the things that I find hard are that I still appear to be responsible for the washing, the groceries and when I get in from work I’m the one who has to sort out dinner – I’m usually tired, I’ve usually had a rubbish commute and you know what how hard can it be to think about dinner and shove something into the oven?
I’m a suffering from a monster expectation gap where I thought him being around more would make my life easier when actually I should just enjoy the fact that he is around more?
Is selfish a good thing from time to time?
Or more importantly – how do I work out how to move forward from where we are now to a place where both of us are happy and one of us isn’t trying to avoid submerging under a pile of resentment?