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Unexplained infertility

When I think of the journey we’ve been on the last 18 months I don’t think about infertility – we’re not infertile, we have two lovely girls already, this is just a bit of a bump in the road

It was a bit of a shock when the consultant this week took our history and dumped us firmly into a box labelled ‘unexplained infertility’

And yet at the same time it was sort of nice to have to stop prefixing any discussion around wanting another baby with talk about how lucky we are, how you know this is more about trying to avoid going through another miscarriage and not that in an ideal world, if everything had worked out when it should have, we would already be a family of 5 and this wouldn’t be a conversation we were having anyway

The barrage of tests that we went through was not exactly what I think you would describe as pleasant but when checked out (yes my pesky left ovary that tried to hide when they thought I might have an ectopic pregnancy is still hiding somewhere that feels to be just under my left boob) I have very nice looking follicles

End result came as rather a suprise

Instead of a chat, some tests and a go away and come back in several months when we might be able to help you, taking into account my age, my family history and interesting benefits of timing* we have gone from being told to just be grateful and relax and it WILL happen to giving Mother Nature a bit of a nudge.  Or rather a jolly good kick in the derriere in the hope that she might buck her game up and sort it out

Who knows what will happen?  I can only cross my fingers and hope that this might be what it takes to sort it all out

Either way, emotionally I’m still trying to work through how we have suddenly jumped both feet into this and the fact that this might, just might work

I know we are lucky with what we have, I just cannot believe after this time and everything that has happened that this might be what it takes to make it all change

 

* EVERYONE told me that you book in to see the infertility people and get pregnant.  Turns out that is about as helpful as being told to relax, go on holiday, take untold different types of supplements and swing from the lampshades – it didn’t work out but hey at least it meant we were in the right part of my cycle at the right time.  Every cloud has a silver lining and all that…

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22 comments to Unexplained infertility

  • Emily O

    Keeping everything crossed for you. We were lumped with this description nearly 8 years ago after 3 years of ttc. I was only 30 at the time. There was a time I never thought I’d have my children but they’re here! It’s so frustrating when there’s nothing ‘wrong’ but it’s not working out either. Hopefully you’ll get there x

  • Kyla

    If 1 more person tells me to relax and it will happen I might actually punch them in the face!!!!

    Good luck, I hope things work out for you.

    Xxx

  • Rachel

    Here’s hoping you get a mini-muddling and are a family of 5 soon. Xx

  • I’ll be crossing my fingers for you that everything works out. xx

  • Shit, I told you about getting pregnant the minute I booked in at the fertility clinic. I now realise how annoying this must have been. You should have punched me in the face there and then. I’ll do it for you. Ow. Actually that hurt. Everything crossed for you x

  • Really hoping you get the family of five you so long for and deserve. It’s easy for others to say “appreciate what you’ve got”, but if you have a nagging absence where that other child should be, then it becomes a whole lot harder. We’re currently a family of three and I would also love to be a family of five. At the moment, we’re not in a financial position to have another baby, but I know that if we do have problems when the time to try comes, I’ll be desperately disappointed. It doesn’t mean I love my first child any less, just that I would like her to have two other siblings to share her life and our family with. I have everything crossed for you. x

    • Thank you – I am hoping that as we get through this week and past the 1 year anniversary of my last miscarriage I may start to feel less raw about it all and feel less of a gap

      As you say, it is not that I’m not grateful for what we have, just that having got close I’d like to either know it won’t work out or fix things

  • I sometimes feel guilty for commenting, when I haven’t been through what you’re going through, but I am thinkig of you xx

  • My husband and I used to produce an infertility podcast called “Just Relax, It’ll Happen”, named because we were sick of people saying that to us. I kept wanting to say to people “look, no amount of relaxing is going to fix my literal phase or my husbands’s sperm count, is it?!”.

    In some ways the “unexplained infertility” diagnosis is one of the hardest to cope with. It’s the “we don’t know why it’s not working” diagnosis. At least we knew what the problem was I guess :)

    Fingers crossed a little extra helping hand does the trick for you.

  • My fingers are crossed that it all works out for you. I hope I am reading about your huge family in a few years time – and I have to take my hat off to you for aiming to combine both that and a full-on career. xx

  • Fingers crossed for you. x. Go out and buy yourself a convertible car! Worked for us, from nought to three in two years- admittedly our problems were getting off the starting blocks.

  • Merry

    Fingers crossed here too. Xxx

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