Admittedly I come at this one from a slightly warped experience – during my pregnancy and breastfeeding days my boobage expanded to a frankly horrifying 34H as in H for humungous so I have been there and done enormous norkage.
I’ve also spent over a decade in the City and experienced the delights for presenting my considered thoughts to a group of male colleagues only to have them never raise their eyes above the 2nd button on my shirt (and this wasn’t one of those occasions when I’d had a button pop open under the strain).
So I think it’s far to say that I know a fair bit about the benefits or not of having bigger boobs.
I also have experienced my brain disappearing into a fug of milk brain and taking a very long time to come out of it*. What they don’t tell you about extended breastfeeding is that it does impair your mental capabilities. How I managed to get promoted, hired into a new job, tackle that job and continue building my professional reputation whilst under this fog I really don’t know. All I know is that before I stopped breastfeeding I couldn’t remember where I’d parked my car in the station carpark by the time I got back there in the evening, a couple of weeks after Littler weaned I could clearly remember EXACTLY where I had parked that morning.
So I have had both sides of seeing how having a better brain and bigger boobs works out.
And trust me, go for brain every single time. It doesn’t put a strain on your back, you can out-think an amnesic goldfish and you don’t sit at work having forgotten technical terms that are absolutely essential to having a discussion about what you do.
But sadly it appears that a third of women would rather have the bigger boobs than a higher IQ or even swap their IQ to achieve their dream dress size.
Is it because women are now purely defined by the magnificence of their cleavage? Is it because the likes of Katie Price are so visible and young women can clearly see advantages of having bigger boobs? Is it because there aren’t really a whole lot of intelligent female role models? Could it be that the lads culture seems to value cup size over being an articulate, intelligent, thoughtful companion?
I have to admit it must be an awful lot easier to imagine what life would be like with a bigger chest – we’ve all done the teenage girl thing of shoving a pair of socks down our training bras to give the impression of a mightier chest. Far easier than trying to imagine what having a bigger brain might look like.
Because let’s be brutally honest the size of your brain doesn’t really show on the superficial outside, the weight of your thoughts doesn’t show up easily on the cover of Grazia and there is a paucity of women out there, showing they are at the top of their game and conquering the world.
We need to stop apologising for being good at our jobs, opinionated and articulate.
We need to stop making out that the women who are succeeding are unusual and a little bit different from the rest of us.
We need to embrace being brainy and remember that being the dork at school can translate into being the type of woman who take on the world.
And we need to tell our daughters that opinions rock, not implants.
* I got pregnant with Bigger, nursed her, got pregnant again whilst still nursing and then breastfed Littler for 18 months – my poor old body and brain really didn’t stand much of a chance.