I don’t consider myself to be a particularly needy person – yes I do like the occasional bit of positive feedback or a compliment on how I look but I’m not out there begging for my ego to be massaged regularly.
Valentines day should be easy to write off as just another day. I’m happy in my marriage, comfortable in this relationship and since we’ve been together nearly 15 years these things are probably consigned to the file marked ‘things we used to do’.
Trouble is that it is so much easier to say than to do.
Normally I’d take advantage of Valentines being one of only a handful of dates when I can be sure we can both get out of work at a reasonable time* to have a nice night in with some cheese and wine and to avoid the whole commercial-fest that Valentines eating out has become.
Except this year Mr Muddling is away and it is a little bit harder to just shrug and say today means nothing. I’m not even sure if, in amongst his all consuming current work project, he has even realised what is going on – he muttered something about ‘are we doing it?’ at the weekend but to be fair that might have been about unloading the dishwasher.
I’m home alone again this week – the attraction of having total control over what to watch and what to eat for supper has rather faded after doing that all of last week too. The downsides of it just being me vs. the girls at bedtime and overnight have grown day by day – it hasn’t been as bad as it could have been (TOUCH WOOD!) but it is still nice to have someone to share the burden.
I guess the trouble is that it is one thing to shun Valentines as part of a happy, joint boycotting duo. It is quite another thing to be on your own, knowing that your partner is somewhere else and too busy to talk and in any event hasn’t realised that today has any more significance than tomorrow or yesterday.
I shall be spending tonight on my own, with my book, some wine and some chocolate and getting on with my crochet. Deep down I’m hoping that he will get in touch or he will remember when he comes home at the end of the week.
So who’s up for sharing one of those rather scrummy looking M&S meals for 2?
*admittedly Valentines does mark the anniversary of my first all-nighter 12 years ago…