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The Friday Rant Club – enough with the mummification

Its funny how you never hear about working Dads – its assumed that Dads work. 

Funny how you rarely hear blogging fathers grouped together as Dad Bloggers. 

Funny how men aren’t defined by their ability to have procreated but women are.

If a ‘working Dad’ takes his child to school he is applauded and held up as a great example of ‘balancing’.  If a working Mum takes her child to school she’s a slacker and just not trying as hard as her hard working male colleagues.

If a mother starts up a business she’s a mum-trepreneur – hedged around with tweeness and the idea that being a Mum probably means she isn’t quite as good as your average male entrepreneur.  God forbid that the media tycoons should admit that the likes of Sarah Curran who founded www.my-wardrobe.com might be entrepreneurs first and mums as well.  Just like men are entrepreneurs first and Dads as well.

It feels to me as if people keep defining women firstly as Mums as a way for putting us back in a little box.  A box that says oh aren’t they doing well as Mums… because they can’t possibly be as good as you know ‘real’ bloggers, or real entrepreneurs or real career women?

Perhaps we’re doing too well? 

Perhaps because we are pushing forward and succeeding in our careers and endeavours as well as being great parents that branding us as Mummies is a way of slightly minimising those succeses?

I’m a Mummy and proud of it but being a Mummy is just one of many roles that I have – yes its an important one but it isn’t the sole role that defines me.  Its also a new role, whereas my marriage, my career, my identity as ‘me’ are far more rounded and established.

So enough with the mummification!
We’re fab at all we do AND we are mothers too.

With thanks to La Douce Vie Suisse

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The Friday Rant Club is a chance to get those niggles, those irritants, those things that make you want to throw a toddler-stylee tantrum off your chest before the weekend.

Go on, let it all out and if you feel like it there’s a rather nice little button over there on the right to show you that you like a bit of a rant

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15 comments to The Friday Rant Club – enough with the mummification

  • Egg dip dip

    Bravo! Hear, hear! Wholeheartedly agree.

  • It’s not just working mums either. I’m not working right now, and I’m also seen only as a mother by so many people, while I have so many other qualities. And I don’t even have a job to show that I still have a brain.

  • Knackered Mother

    Honestly, I just LOVE reading your Friday rants. I hear ya, Muddling x

  • Mmelindor

    Thanks for linking to my blog. Obviously I agree with you.

    I like your point about Dads who “help” (or even better “babysit”) –
    And how they are perceived to be fab dads and great husbands, “Oh, aren’t you LUCKY. What a wonderful man he is, such a HELP…”. No one says that to a woman.

    Oops. Ranted a bit there. It’s contagious.

    • Not at all – was a great post

      Feel free to get it off your chest but yes the whole, isn’t he a great Dad for taking them to school thing makes me fume – um if I do that you think I’m a slacker…. !

  • Round of applause for the angry mummy!

    Jest, jest – great rant, brilliant rant.

  • Hi. I love your blog and I see your point. But I do think that sometimes adding ‘Mummy’ to an activity is a way of applauding multi-tasking. Being a mum is an all consuming occupation that sucks in so much time, so if you also manage to be a blogger or an entrepreneur then I think terms like ‘mummy blogger’ or ‘mumpreneur’ say *look at me! I’m doing two things at once!* Like patting your tummy and rubbing your head; being proud of multi-tasking!
    But yes, I do I agree with Mmelindor – looking after the kids is part of a dad’s job, and not a ‘favour’ to the mum!

    • Good points – yes we do tend to do more and multitask more, I guess I worry that the Mummy means people assume we can’t do the other stuff as well because of the mummy stuff

      And the whole helping as a favour thing gives me the rage!

  • Emily O

    I agree – here’s my slight little twist on it though. Despite all the things we do with our lives, we still usually end up being the primary carer for our children even if we work as many hours (or more) than our other halves. So now and again I think it’s good to be recognised for what we do as well as being a mum because we’ve got more on our plates than the average dad. Who, a lot of the time, do their dad stuff weekends only. And rarely need to worry about getting washing done and other dull household stuff too. I can’t stand anything patronisingly mummified though.

    • Good point – its one of the things that makes me cross – I didn’t agree to be mostly incharge of home planning and yet I am. Unlike Mr I don’t leave without a backwards glance and arrange to travel assuming someone else will pick it up

      I guess I wish that men were given the chance to do their share and that was accepted rather than prevented by employers and peers – at least that would be a step in the right direction

  • I love this rant and completely agree with the point about being made to feel like a slacker at work. I work full time in an organisation with a culture of extended working hours. I feel the guilt every time I leave the office ON TIME to pick up my LO.

    I’m new to your site and shall be subscribing x

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