There are better ways to start the day than with Bigger screaming that she ‘don’t want you Mummy, no don’t give me a cuddle!’ and pushing me away, throwing herself onto the bed and refusing to kiss me goodbye.
Especially when you’ve spent the whole of the night since she woke with night terrors at 10.30pm cuddling her close, unable to move away from having your arm under her neck without her stirring and screaming for you.
When you’ve spent a night trying to calm away terrors and anxiety and make bad things good.
But it appears in the cold light of day you are unwanted, pushed away and refused.
Yes, she’s always preferred Daddy. Daddy is fun, Daddy gives in, Daddy let’s her do things that I don’t but it still doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt.
And how do you cope?
How do you deal with the rejection?
How do you damp down your own feelings of upset and carry on without resenting being pushed away in favour of Daddy?
How do you explain to a toddler that you do love her even if she doesn’t love you?
How do you go to work without feeling rubbish, unwanted, unloved and exhausted physically and emotionally?