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Does your husband wear a wedding ring? Do you want him to?

There are two crackers in the list of top 10 stupid things my husband has said.

Number 1 is turning to me on honeymoon and saying ‘we should have done this sooner…’.  Which given we hadn’t exactly had a whirlwind romance and it had taken us 7 plus years to stumble up the aisle was a little bit irritating to say the least.

Number 2 is him musing as to whether he actually should have worn a wedding ring.

Before we got married Mr Muddling was adamant that he would not under any circumstances wear a wedding ring. 

Oh no.
Not for him.

For various reasons that came down to that he didn’t want to even consider it because real men didn’t wear rings and that he might have to take it off when sailing.  Not that he sails much any more but there it was, that was his decision.

And my view that I would really like him to wear one fell on deaf ears.
Because you see I thought then and I still think that some physical indication of his married status would be nice.  Yes he has collar stiffeners I bought him when we got married which have the same engraving as my wedding ring but they aren’t exactly something he sees all the time in the way I see my wedding ring.

Which is not to say that I think he needs reminding, or I think he’ll stray, just that I’d like there to be a physical reminder.

And its not that I think it acts as a hands off sign to other women (although perhaps it does? Or does it ?) but it does stand as a badge of honour and a willingness to show the world that you are married.

And one of the issues I have with him not wearing a wedding ring is that I perceive it as an unwillingness to show the world that he is married.
He on the other hand sees it as something unnecessary – why should he have to wear something to show his marital status.

But then why should he not wear something that shouts I’m married!

So what do you think?  Should men wear wedding rings?  Should women?

And more importantly can you go back later and start wearing a ring?  Even if it wasn’t blessed, wasn’t there at the start?

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33 comments to Does your husband wear a wedding ring? Do you want him to?

  • We gad the discussion when we got married because Hubby didn’t wear a wedding band in his first marriage, he said the ring made him feel claustrophobic. I said that if he was going to wear a ring then neither would I and he didn’t like that. He hasn’t taken his off in nearly four years of marriage, not for diy, bed, showers, swimming – anything. Since having my children and having to take my rings off due to swollen fingers I now forget to pit mine on most days because can’t stand to wear them in bed or when showering. I must try harder!!

  • Jem

    Perhaps it’s because Karl and I aren’t married but I don’t see the big deal with rings; just a piece of metal. Should we ever tie the knot I doubt he’d wear one. I don’t know if I would either – it takes ages for me to get used to wearing a piece of jewellery.

    • Muddling Along

      It took me ages to get used to wearing my engagement ring but the wedding ring was an easier thing to get used to – I found wearing a watch again really tricky to get used to

  • nikhk

    Ha! My husband wanted to wear a wedding ring largely because it meant he got to buy something shiny (he’s a product designer by training, and is something of a magpie). He found a tungsten carbide ring, which is heavy, has a bluish sheen to it, and is virtually scratch-proof. When his turned up, it was so pretty I decided to get one the same – there’s something lovely about us both having rings that will remain almost as pristine as the day we got married.

    All well and good until he broke his wedding ring finger on a dry ski slope – his knuckle is now too big to get his ring over, so he has to wear it on his other hand. You can’t even get tungsten carbide rings re-sized – once they’re cast, that’s that.

    • Muddling Along

      I hadn’t realised that you could get rings made of more exciting things than the usual ones – interesting, that’s the sort of metal that would appeal to Mr

  • Mine did wear a ring before he lost it in the River Ebro. Sigh. I think men look nice with wedding bands, shows a certain maturity.

  • Kerry

    My Husband does wear a wedding ring and it never comes off, to be fair the 2 stone he has put on since we got married probably means that it never will.

    However I only recently realised that my Grandpa doesn’t wear one and never has, apparently men just didn’t wear them when they got married, they have been married for 57 years this year.

  • Neither me nor my husband wear a wedding ring. He doesn’t like wearing rings and that is okay with me. I don’t like golden so only silver or whatever I fancy. Both of us are okay with this,has never been a problem.

  • MadDad wears a ring,just a plain gold band, but yes he wears it all the time nad it never comes off, they even just taped over it in hospital as he told them he wouldn’t remove it.

    I am the one that doesn’t wear my rings! I have a lovely wedding ring, engagement ring and stunning eternity ring, but my hands swell and shrink all the time, due to my medication that I just can not wear them anymore.

  • Annicles

    I am upset that my husband will bot wear a ring. He asys he hates the way they feel and he won’t ever get used to it. I am thinking of taking mine off to match him. If you can’t move Mohammed, move the mountain!

  • I had no idea some people didn’t wear wedding rings. It wasn’t even a discussion when we got married, I guess we thought it was part of the deal!

    When I first had mine I was happy to take it off for an operation I had straight after we were married, now I am much more attached to it and hate to take it off. It desperately needs cleaning and recoating but I still haven’t done it as it would mean being without it for a couple of days. My fingers swelled up so much I had to take them off last time I was pregnant and I hated it, was so pleased when I could put it on again.

    Mr C wears his ring and never takes it off, not for gardening or DIY or anything. I have a friend that is a carpenter who had a ring made of a particular metal so it wouldn’t get damaged when he was working.

    • Muddling Along

      Interesting how different people have different experiences – mine is fairly battered because I don’t take it off and I’m keen to keep it as it is, shows the marks of the last 7 years

  • My hub has a ring, but only because I made him get one fitted for special occasions. It was made out of my grandfathers gold medals, as was mine. It was worn for the ceremony, and the only time it ever gets an airing is when he has an outing, or special occasion. He never wears it for day to day.

    I stopped wearing mine for a while, which he didn’t like at all, but I gave up and put it back, when I was approached by some a guy on a night out who was a bit stroppy, and wouldn’t believe I was married as I didn’t have a ring on. He thought it was my using an excuse to get rid of him !!!!!!
    It’s stayed on since.

    • Muddling Along

      That’s a lovely idea to have had your grandfather’s medals used to make your rings

      Guess one of the advantages of not going out is not getting hit on!

  • Married 25 years this November and only wore our rings for the first couple of years. Hubby took his off first, saying he works around electricity and doesn’t want metal on him. Mine came off with pregnancy and never went back on (was 99 pounds at our wedding and have gotten healthier since then—by 33 pounds). Anyway they were (and look) cheap, since we were poor. We only hang onto them for sentiment. He surprised me with a white gold diamond ring several years ago as a reward for trekking up Mt. Whitney with him in the dark for three hours and never complaining. That one I wear anytime I leave the house!

  • My husband and I both love our wedding rings and are proud to wear them. I am pleased that he did want to wear one or I’d have been very upset. I kind of think you should decide to both wear one or both not wear one.
    My arguement should hubby not have wanted to wear a wedding ring was that if I am changing my name and calling myself Mrs then the least he could do is wear a little piece of jewellery!

    • Muddling Along

      I really should have checked with you before I got into the arguement before – the whole name changing thing would have been a good bargaining chip

  • We had the discussion before our wedding. I thought it odd that you exchange rings and then don’t want to wear it. But I respected that hubby didn’t want to wear it. Strangely he has been wearing it, more than I, because I had to take the rings off during both pregnancies ;)

    • Muddling Along

      Interesting that he has grown to like it

      I’ve talked to men about this and almost everyone of them was sure that they wouldn’t like or continue to wear theirs but in the end they have carried on wearing it and like wearing it

  • Kirsty

    My husband wears his wedding ring all the time – he didn’t even take it off for climbing, which is a little irritating as it has a big scratch now. Both our rings are white gold and his looks loads more battered than mine, although I don’t think we’ll get them replated as I think it’s nice that they show they’ve been worn.

    I think it’s a generational thing. My Dad never had a wedding ring when we were growing up. But he got one about six years ago for their silver wedding anniversary. They didn’t have it blessed or anything, he just started wearing it. I’m not sure what the motivation was, but there’s no reason Mr Muddling shouldn’t get one whenever, if he changes his mind – I think it’s what it means to the couple that’s important.

    • Muddling Along

      I do think you’re right about the generational thing – my Dad doesn’t wear a wedding ring but that might have had more to do with them not having the money when they got married

      I’m starting a campaign to get him to start wearing one for our 10th anniversary… reckon 3 years will be long enough to persuade him!

  • I wouldn’t wear one if my husband didn’t. My sister and her husband have decided not to, but both of them. I did take mine off for a while when I was pregnant and LARGER, but he really didn’t like that. I think I mainly wear it to take his feelings into account.

  • I’ve become sensitive to my wedding ring since having my second baby so that i have to take it off for a couple of weeks because my finger gets itchy and sore underneath it when i wear it for any length of time. Hope that’s not a reflection of our marriage!!! OH wears one most of the time but it doesn’t bother either of us if we aren’t wearing them for any particular reason. Whilst on the subject my dad ever wore a wedding ring until his father died and he started wearing his. My mum lost her original ring in a stable and I think is now on her third?!! They’ve been married 35+ years though so it doesn’t seem to be an issue!

  • Troy

    Fascinating topic and run of comments. When my wife and I got married after years of living together we got “his and hers” wedding rings and I’ve been happy to wear mine ever since. Its a chunky plain gold ring so it doesn’t feel effeminate wearing it.
    A guy I once knew had little success with the girls but once he was married and wore a ring he got a lot more attention. Not sure if that was just on a friendly basis but perhaps some women when they see a ring on a man assume he could be up for fun without any risk being a pest afterwards.
    I should point out catagorically though that’s not the reason I wear one!

    • Muddling Along

      Hahahaha its like Mr Muddling discovering that babywearing increased his attractiveness to the opposite sex exponentially (and I’m sure that’s not why he continues to sling the girls!)

  • My husband wears ring and only takes it off to mow the lawn (it gives him blisters as we have hand mower!)

    I have a beautiful wedding ring but unfortunately my tiny tiny slim fingers swelled up at 23 weeks pregnant and the midwife ordered me to take it off or have it cut off later. It’s never fit me since.

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