You know what, I am utterly sick of being told that my super fast labours are the easy option.
I’m sick of having people tell me that they’d rather have that than their experience.
I’m sick of having to bite my tongue when I’m told that its far easier than whatever they have been through.
I’m sick of having to try and explain that its not easy, its different.
What people seem to not realise is what a really fast labour means.
It means going from nothing to fully dilated in 10 or 15 minutes. All the effort required to get that dilated happens in that short time frame.
It means going from no contractions, or just back ache to full on full blown can’t talk, can’t walk, right on top of each other contractions. Contractions so intense you can’t get across a room, let alone anywhere else.
It means not knowing how long this will last but knowing that this degree of sudden all encompassing pain is not something you can deal with for a long time.
It means having no time to acclimatise to the idea you are in labour.
No time to pack a bag.
No time to do more than call your midwife and moan through a contraction to get her on her way.
No time to light candles, to put on music, to decide where you will birth, to change into something comfortable.
No time to mentally prepare that this is when you’re going to meet your baby.
No time to get someone to look after your other child.
It means feeling your body start to push before you are ready. That there is nothing you can do to resist this process, no matter how much you want this to slow down.
It means feeling your baby’s head whilst on your own, no midwife, no husband, nobody. Just you and your body having taken over and deciding what is going to happen.
It means no pain relief.
It means nobody to massage your back, to reassure you, to hold your hands, to look lovingly into your eyes.
It means panic, fear, terror. On your own.
Afterwards it means shock, loathing that you didn’t do better, panic about what might happen next time.
It is totally different from a long, drawn out labour. Not harder, not easier just different.
Please don’t offend me by telling me I had an easy time.
Unless you have been there you do not know what you are talking about.
My second baby was born in about 40 minutes from first contraction to arrival.
My midwife arrived 6 minutes and 3 or 4 contractions before my baby was born. I could feel her head before my midwife arrived.
My husband was woken up and thrown into trying to look after me and to look after Bigger, and Bigger needed him more than I did and there wasn’t time to get anyone else to look after her.
We were supposed to go into hospital for Littler’s delivery because of my high risk pregnancy, in the end I couldn’t move across our living room let alone get into a car.