Horribly got at.
And for some reason I can’t shake it off and its made me really miserable. Miserable as in having to go away and have a good cry miserable.
I can’t work out why I’m taking it all to heart so excessively but you see I am and I guess that is the bottom line.
Over the course of recent days my mother has repeatedly told me that the girls have too many toys.
I’m the first to admit that they do have rather a lot, that the playroom is a bit of a mess but its easily solved and being frank, we didn’t really get them anything much for Christmas. In fact a lot of what is in the playroom are toys that others have given us. And I’m not going to force my mother in law to stop buying them things (although I have steered her gently towards books rather than other things) when it gives her a lot of pleasure. And yes, I do resent that I cannot go out and buy the odd nice thing for them because others have got there first or bought them more than I feel comfortable with them having.
And New Nanny has also seemed to have a go about this too. I again find myself having to justify what others have done when we had to hold back giving the girls the presents we had bought and are now holding back for another, more suitable, less excessive moment.
And it appears that people think my house is a mess.
Yes during the day it can be rather chaotic but come tea time all the toys get tidied away and the bits of the house where we’ve sorted them out are really rather nice and uncluttered. Yes, our kitchen is a bit of a mess but we’re working on getting it changed so I can reach some of the cupboards and we have more storage.
I don’t want a prize for everything I do – work, cooking for the family, keeping things under control, washing, ironing and so on, but I would rather that people at least tried to understand how much I’m actually doing before having a go at the things I’m not.
I’m also sick of being got at because others have been generous. I don’t believe my girls have disproportionally more toys than their friends, I don’t believe they are particularly spoilt, I don’t believe we buy off any guilt we may feel about not being at home with them.
Reading that back it all seems so petty.
And yet I’m still feeling miserable and got at.
I had thought I was doing an ok job. I guess my problem is that all of these comments make me feel as if I’m not.