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I’m going on strike!

Dear Mr Muddling,

I am about to go on strike.

This may not be an exhaustive list but you will need to find the following services to replace the jobs I do.

Good luck

Mrs Muddling

P.S. For a suitable amount of bribery, grovelling and promises of change I might be persuaded to start doing this again

P.P.S. you do realise this is effective IMMEDIATELY which means I’m having my lie in tomorrow even if you do have wine fever after your long lunch today

_________________________________________

Childcare

Wraparound childcare from 7pm until 7am

All day childcare at weekend

Premium for early mornings

Toptip: childcare costs £8 an hour… except overnight when its more… and you still have to do bedtime

Cleaning

1 hour per day plus more at weekends

Tidying away toys

Putting morning tea cup from work surface into dishwasher

Picking up your shoes from the dayroom and putting them back into the bootroom

Taking used cups downstairs

Top tip: our cleaner charges £8 an hour plus it’ll be more if you need her here every day

Ironing

Washing and ironing childrens’ clothes

Collecting, washing and ironing 5 pairs of socks and pants, one set of pjamas, 6 shirts, 1 pair jeans, 3 t-shirts and 2 casual shirts

Washing and ironing one set bedlinen per week in rotation (I have taken care of this week’s set in our bedroom)

Picking up your clothes from the floor

Top tip: the laundry service charges £4.50 a kilo plus you have to call them to get them to come and collect or again the cleaner charges £8 an hour but doesn’t actually like to iron

Childrens’ entertainment

Art session

Music session

Dance session

Cooking session

Top tip: you’ll need to organise these in advance or the small people get cranky, really cranky, and you can’t just dump them infront of the TV because eventually they do tire of it

Personal assistant

Organising birthday presents and cards

Managing family diary

Paying council tax

Arranging weekend plans

Restocking birthday present/card cupboard

Top tip: These things do need doing, just because a fuss isn’t made it isn’t unimportant.  Oh and if you don’t do it people make a fuss

Catering

Menu planning and ingredient shopping

Arranging breakfast

Cooking lunch and dinner

Keeping cupboard stocked with snacks

Baking dairy free cakes

Top tip: Ocado does deliver but you have to book the slots in advance and go on there and put in groceries the evening before, there isn’t actually a shopping fairy

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