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Another rubbish evening…

Yet again, Mr arrived home after a night away and within 5 minutes had huffed off and reduced me to tears…

I’ve had a rubbish 24 hours – a horrid night with a teething and very grumpy Littler plus work having got horribly busy and really a bit stress-y

So yet again he’s missed a bad night (to be honest even when he’s here, he mostly misses bad nights despite a vague promise at some stage that we’d share the pain…) and come home to accuse me of being grumpy and then taken himself off in a strop.

I possibly am grumpy – I had a horrid day at work, had to leave a work meeting to get home to relieve our nanny, had a shocker of a trip home, came home to the grumpy teething baby, fed her, put her to bed, engaged in the usual bedtime toddler shaped antics, finally got her to sleep, came downstairs and started on taking the rubbish out, sorting out the recycling and then Mr arrived…

And yes I kissed him hello but obviously I was too tied up in trying to sort dinner, get things straight at home and so on.  Obviously I haven’t had the full night asleep in a hotel room that he’s had, or the drink he’d had on the plane, or the time away.

So yet again its my fault.  Yet again I’m sitting on the sofa feeling utterly miserable.  Yet again I’m questioning why this is not working.

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14 comments to Another rubbish evening…

  • I hear you hun. I really hear your disappointment and your exhaustion. I’m so sorry I don’t have answers. Only you and Mr have the answers. Only together can you change the status quo. Can I offer you my love and virtual hugs. Hang in there hun, there are so many friends on here and in the real world who think you’re pretty special. The fog will lift, it will. For now, know that you are very much loved and respected. xx

  • I can only echo what Vix has said. It sounds desperate and I really feel for you, there are no quick fixes are there? But any time you fancy that G&T and a chin wag, just say the word and the Vixens will be there. xx

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  • Oh lovely!! You have every right to be grumpy. I’m a right grump and am constantly tired with just looking after one toddler. You have 2 and a job on top!! Me & my OH are constantly at each others throats at the moment , after two years of doing the same thing everyday and being with Oli 24/7 I have decided that evenings I have wanted to take some me time. I dont think it has gone down too well with him which makes us both grumpy when its pointed out. Grrrrhhhhhh!!!

  • Darling … *HUG* … you sound like you need some me time and some spoiling x.
    All husbands can be dicks – christ they can be idiots – argghhhhhh!
    No answers either just hugs and the obvious to you probably.
    I know we said after the new year but if you want to meet for a drink and off-load before just shout.
    Another question pops to mind …. going to another post to ask it.

  • Big hugs hun, i hope you manage to sort something out and begin to feel more positive about things. I think men are just oblivious to everything we do as wives and mothers. Somehow they manage to sleep through the crying children, miss the misbehaving during the day and they come home and expect to find a clean house, a nice meal and happy, calm, quiet children, and a loving devoted wife and if that isn’t all there a comment is made then when we snap after all we have put up with all day suddenly we are the bad guys.

    Sorry that turned into more of a rant about my relationship than epmathizing with yours. Sorry for hijacking!

  • Dealing with the little ones is hard enough work at the best of times let alone when they are teething. That in itself makes it ok for you to feel tired and stressed. Anything stressful at work really takes it out of you and not being able to come home and relax doubles the effect. Doing that effectively as a single parent tests even the strongest person. So don’t try and make excuses for feeling stressed, exhausted and grumpy.
    I hope you and Mr can talk it through and he can see your side of things at some point. As a person who used to travel it’s hard to walk back in the door after a trip and “fit in” when there is all sorts going on. It’s also really hard for the person at home who is desperate for that little bit of help. Very difficult to make it work.

  • Oh dear <>

    Sounds like you really need to clear the air with Mr M for this to move forwards. Have you tried putting down on paper how you feel? Or even send him an email. Sometimes easier to make a point clearly when there is emotion involved.

    Things can get better. It just may take time. x

  • Oh hun, if it helps yor not the only one who gets grumpy husbands!!

    I know you can sort this out and maybe he just had pmt (yes they do get it I swear it!!)

    Take deep breaths and here’s a big hug from me

    BNM

  • Oh lovely 🙁 I get grumpy husband days too 🙁 xx

  • Okay, this might sound really ridiculous but can I recommend two things?
    1. a heart rate monitor (and watch), and;
    2. a punching bag

    Wear the former and monitor your own stress levels (and thus be aware of what and when you are coming under pressure), because if you do not start now you will simply keel over.
    Hang the latter in the garage (or buy a stand-up version) and go and HIT it, even for just a couple of minutes, every day BEFORE you walk in the door at home. It may just be a mental game, but it does wonders if you can take out your frustration on a harmless inanimate object.

    If nothing else, you might find that how you interact with Mr M changes as you are able to be more aware of your own reactions to his comments (or outbursts, or accusations) without the tension of dealing with everything else still gnawing at your subconscience.

    Wishing you strength and sending you positive thoughts. Always here if you need me.

    LCM x

  • I’m so sorry to read this so late. And so sorry it happened to you.

    We have that kind of exchange all the time, and Babes is actually trying really hard to do his share. Can’t imagine how awful it must be with a husband who doesn’t. And they just don’t get how sitting in a traffic jam is infinitely easier than dealing with evening mayhem.

    Big hug to you. I wish I had a solution, but I don’t think I do. Try a calm conversation about it? Probably not. Best of luck anyway!

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