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I’m having a pity party – want to join in?

Come on over.  Kick off your shoes.  Collapse on a squishy sofa clutching a mug of coffee and a slice of cake.
Everyone is free to join in – come and offload and winge and moan without worrying about anyone telling you to buck up.  Get things off your chest before the weekend.
Let me start.
I just want people to give me a bit of credit for everything I’m doing.  Not to just think that because I’m managing that I’m ok, that I’m happy, that its easy. 
Because it is tough being on my own for a week – especially when they’ve been ill and so not sleeping and I still have to get up, go to work and do ok there, despite being exhausted.
I know that working away from home is not ideal but at least you get to sleep on your own in bed and without interruptions.

I also know Mr Muddling has been busy.  Obviously.  But it wouldn’t take much to call, to check I’m ok, to actually want to spend time talking to me and not just be interested in talking to the girls.  Even a text would be nice. 

I realise I sound needy, but I do need some attention, some appreciation.  Why don’t people realise that a marriage might need some nurturing, that if you ignore it, it could just wither and disappear.  I don’t think I’m unattractive, unappealing – don’t make me feel like I am.
I don’t want people to call me a SuperMum because I work and juggle.  I’m not super, I’m just coping.  Just the same as everyone else.  I just have a different set of challenges and a different set of benefits but I’m still juggling and dropping balls.  Please please please don’t make me feel I can’t say how tough it is because you keep saying how fab I’m doing.  I need the chance to express how hard I’m finding things – if I don’t the pressure just builds up until it becomes unbearable.
I want to have a boss that treats me like an adult.  I never thought I’d look back at my time in investment banking and miss some of the aspects but I do.  I feel as if you seriously misled me over the opportunities for family friendly working here and I hate that.  I am still committed to my work, to my career but I also have a family and I want to find ways to make that work.  I don’t understand why you can’t trust me to work from home, why you need me here at my desk all the time.  I don’t understand why you feel the need to treat me like a junior rather than someone with experience.  I look at a dysfunctional team and just wonder if I made the right choice in moving.  I suspect I didn’t.
I don’t want to go away this weekend.  To hear the chorus of ‘poor Mr Muddling being away all week’ with no recognition of my contribution.  I don’t want to get home on Sunday to a pile of chores that still need doing, having had no time off over the weekend and having not got a lie in because I’m the one who ends up getting up with the smalls because I can’t sleep through the noise. 
And on a purely shallow note, I want to find a pair of boots that are perfect for the winter and I can’t.  Why is it so hard to find something that is practical enough so I won’t slide over in the ice and snow but has a small heel so I don’t look like a hobbit and goes well with a skirt?
Whilst you’re stopping by, I have a little competition running to win some Liz Earle products – why don’t you have a look over here and enter it?

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9 comments to I’m having a pity party – want to join in?

  • Oh I used to feel like that when L was little and hubby was in Amsterdam half the week, it’s so frustrating to feel like you have to cope with *everything*, plus work and his life hasn’t exactly changed. ((hugs) xx

    My pity party….not got much of one at the moment other than working like an banshee to get everything done by the 17th so I can be fully available for L over the Christmas holidays, I just need a few extra days but I know I stand not a hope in hell of getting them. Grrr!! x

  • So pleased I can comment now, as I really need to come in and join the pity party. Sitting upstairs at my crappy desk struggling to work, feeling miserable. I’m working on something that I disagree with but can’t change and just have to do it. I’m fed up with my Mr working all the time and thinking that he’s the only one feeling tired. I’m working at work and at home. ANd I’m fed up with parenting 24/7. But the worst thing of all, is that compared to so many other people – wih small kids and no holiday home in two weeks to look forward, I have it easy, so I don’t even feel justified feeling fed up. Overwhelmed and over it. xx

    • Muddling Along

      Did I not mention a ground rule that this isn’t a competition and we can feel as rubbish as we like – its feeling rubbish that gets you in the door

      Sorry its all rubbish – have you tried talking to Mr, strangely mine doesn’t realise he comes across as all ‘oh its so hard for me compared to you’ and doesn’t mean to (most of the time…)

      Oh and mine is still working… sigh

  • I have just been puked on. Nuff said.

  • Biggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg hug. I am just cold and overly concerned about lipstick!

  • Oh this sounds familiar. The last time Mr C was away for a whole week we had a big argument before he left. He made some comment about the fact that he didn’t enjoy being away, that it wasn’t some great big jolly. I then exploded (I blame the pregnancy hormones *ahem*) telling him that although I would hate being away from him and Piran six nights of uninterrupted sleep, all meals provided, no washing up required, no worrying about meals for others, my bed made and bathroom cleaned every day and travel time to read a book, or browse in shops sounded like A BLOODY DREAM COME TRUE.

    I don’t think we will have that conversation again in a hurry.

    He didn’t even bring me back a bloody Toblerone.

    • Muddling Along

      Toblerone? That reminds me that he didn’t bring me any chocolate and he was in Switzerland… grrr

      I know exactly what you mean – when I travel I have to pump & get everything set up at home but he just gets to go… can you imagine 6 nights of uninterrupted sleep???

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