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Having a nanny doesn’t mean I’m rich & shameless

I really must stop reading the comments on the Daily Mail site. So much vitriol and anger, so little time.

I read a column in the paper where Lorraine Candy admitted she was upset that her nanny was leaving them. Been there, done that, still really miss Super Nanny. We all do.

Reading the comments people seem to think that hiring a nanny is only something the rich, those that can afford not to work do.

This may have been the case in the past but now it just isn’t true.

Cost-wise, with two young children in what would need to be full time childcare for 12 hours a day, a nanny actually works out cheaper for us than paying for a nursery or a childminder around here (and that assumes we’d have been able to find them both places at the same nursery or childminder).

We’d also lose the benefit of having the girls looked after in our own home – I leave them in their PJs in the morning and come back to find them washed, brushed and ready for bed when I get home. I don’t lose the time taken to drop them off or collect them which is a huge benefit.

I also get a LOT more flexibility. If I am running 10 minutes late because of train problems or my boss’ fondness for wanting to ‘have a quick chat’ as I try to rush out the door then that’s ok. Yes we have to make it up at other times but I’m not being fined £25 for every 15 minutes I’m late or facing the stressful prospect of increasingly irate carers wanting to leave my children sat on the street (ok they’d never leave them but they have other places to be and things to do). If I did it more than a few times I’d risk losing my place.

When I had to leave my 5 month old to go back to work I wanted her to have something as close to what I’d do if I was at home and a nanny ticked all those boxes.

Asking around nannies are far more prevalent than the Daily Mail would have us believe. Parents I know aren’t all mega-buck earners and its just that this is one of several choices and the one that works best for them. Sometimes they’ll share with another family, sometimes the nanny will work separately for two or more families to fill a full time week. The bottom line is that its a flexible choice and actually once you get past one child isn’t the most expensive option.

Daily Mail people please get over the ‘only the rich can afford nannies’ thing – I can afford a nanny because I work, I fortunately earn more than I pay out to her and to the Inland Revenue but if I stop working I can’t afford to keep her on (and pay her tax, or my tax…)

And yes, if you think that I shouldn’t be working full stop then you are entitled to that view but please go and talk to the people on the Daily Mail who think I’m a rubbish mother because I work.

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15 comments to Having a nanny doesn’t mean I’m rich & shameless

  • Flaf

    >I hear you. Childminder here = £6ph (not inc meals), nanny = £8. Assuming we could actually FIND a CM to take 2 children and pick up from my daughter's preschool.

  • Erica

    >Great post. As an ex-nursery nurse I think getting a nanny is a great alternative. Nurseries can be extremely expensive and may not be the best option for all types of children.

    Live and let live I say!

  • Anonymous

    >Please don't ever listen to the Daily Mail commenters! It sounds like they don't want women to have lives, jobs, or independence.
    Your children will grow up with a mother who is strong, independent and a great role model for them. On top of this, they have a mother who is choosing the best care that she can find for her children. I say well done, and don't listen to those who tell you otherwise. Only you know what is best for your children, and what will make the best life for your whole family.

  • New Mummy

    >I think its great you have a nanny, as you say its much most cost effective and your children get to see the same person each time which must help with stability and bonding. My best friend had an Au Pair as it worked out much cheaper and with the commute she had to do it meant less disruption for her daughter.

  • Mediocre Mum

    >I know several families who share nannies as well as it keeps the cost down. It wouldn't be cost effective for me as I only have one and I like the idea of her socialising with the other kids at the childminders.

    Cheers,

    Mediocre Mum

  • Crystal Jigsaw

    >I have a very good friend who has a wonderful nanny for her 3 children and their lives work just fine. It's not a lifestyle for everyone but for working parents it has to be an option. There is too much snobbery in the world, I think children should be cared for properly no matter who their carer is.

    CJ xx

  • Emma

    >I have been working as a nanny for about 4 years now and I absolutely love it. Taking the children to places such as the zoo, various children's museums and movies is not only fun for them but I enjoy it as well. Basically my job everyday is to arrive and get the children ready for the day, make sure things get done around the house while keeping the children entertained, and leaving them with their parents worn out and ready for bed at the end of the day. With both parents working they should be able to come home and enjoy spending the evening with their children and not have to worry about getting homework done or basic housecleaning.

  • London City Mum

    >Oh I just used to leave them with the dog.
    Played great games, shared its food, washed their faces and provided comfy cushion to lie on when tired.

    Okay, so they smelt a bit, but hey – what's Febreeze for?

    LCM x

  • Very Bored in Catalunya

    >Never mind the comments, you need to stop reading the Daily Mail full stop. You do the best that you can do for your family, your solution works best for you.

  • @AlliMarshall

    >According to the daily mail commentators working mums should be hung drawn & quartered, but if we didn't work who would pay the tax that provide the benefits?

    I have had the same childminder for 11 years, she looked after my eldest and now has my youngest. My children have had the same person looking after them and she is amazing, she is just like a second Mum!

    She cried when eldest left in July and was delighted when he went there today to collect his forgotten key and stayed for 2 hours!

    As we left my childminder she told my eldest he is welcome to pop in anytime – I am so lucky!

    Sod the commentators & do what is best for you & your children!!

  • Candi

    >In today’s society, there are many benefits of hiring a nanny:
    1. COST. If you have two or more children, it may be cost effective for you to hire a nanny as many daycare centers can cost you more. Also, many families are using “nanny share”. This is an arrangement in which two families share one nanny. This cuts down on costs but you still experience the benefits of having a nanny.
    2. HEALTH OF THE CHILDREN. You may have healthier children by keeping them away from the large groups of children typically found in daycare. Germs are easily spread from child to child, so daycare centers can be breeding grounds for every cold and flu of the season. When your children contract illnesses, it takes an emotional toll on both you and your children. Further, they may miss school, you may miss work, and you may incur expenses associated with doctor’s visits and medications. Your children’s exposure to germs, and thus the risks discussed here, can be dramatically diminished by simply using the services of a nanny.
    3. WORKPLACE PRODUCTIVITY. If your children are sick, many daycare centers will not accept your children. However, if you have a nanny, you can still go to work as the nanny will stay home with the children. Further, if you have an attentive nanny at home with your children, you will be less likely to feel like you just can’t concentrate at work due to concern for your children. By staying focused at work, your workplace productivity remains high.
    4. HOME WORKLOAD DELEGATION. A nanny can help you maintain work/life balance. For example, a nanny can be an extra pair of hands helping with household duties such as laundry, errands, transporting children, and starting the evening meal. This allows for more quality family time when the parents arrive home. No need to rush in the morning to get the kids out the door for daycare or school: a nanny is an extra pair of hands in the morning.
    5. MARITAL BONDING. Many parents become so over-committed with the tasks of working full-time on top of parenting, household maintenance, and a host of other daily responsibilities, that tending the marital bond simply isn’t on their radar screen. Years later, it may be too late when the couple realizes that they have grown apart. A nanny can help prevent that. Nannies can watch children in the evenings (which many daycare centers will not do), thus allowing parents an opportunity for a romantic evening out, or maybe just some private just-the-two-of-us time. These relationship-building evenings help maintain the marital bond.
    6. PEACE OF MIND. Daycare centers have… http://tinyurl.com/yakn7ws

  • Anonymous

    >I think you are forgetting that the average wage in this country is less than £26,000 at the moment, and I doubt that somebody who gets paid this can afford to employ a nanny. You need a bit of a reality check.

  • Anonymous

    >I think you are forgetting that the average wage in this country is less than £26,000 at the moment, and I doubt that somebody who gets paid this can afford to employ a nanny. You need a bit of a reality check.

  • crunchymommysomeday

    >To anonymous,

    I'm a nanny in the states, so I don't know precisely how wages compare, but I do know that my boss (a single mom!) is just over the poverty line here. The point is that she works tirelessly to make sure that her son can be in a safe environment, and she wanted him to have as much one-on-one attention as he would have if she were home with him. I charge a very fair rate, and that, combined with her excellent budgeting skills and willingness to put her son first, makes it possible for her to afford a nanny. And I'm sure that's the case across the pond too.

    And as for you, Mrs Muddling, don't ever let the pathetic shrews who take the time to comment on Daily Mail articles (because they're that lonely and desperate for anyone to hear anything they think, regardless of how inane it is) get under your skin. You are an incredible, passionate and caring mum, who consistently makes the best choices for your daughters. Thanks for speaking out to dispel the myth that nannies are only available to millionaires and folks willing to pay an arm and a leg.

    -Faedra

  • I'm So Fancy

    >Ditch the guilt. It's not easy being a Mum, even with a nanny. You don't need others looking in and making you feel bad when you are doing exactly what your family needs!

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