I was chatting on Twitter this mornig about how tired we were and how we’d love a duvet day when I realised that what we need is an emergency service for parents.
You’ve had a foul night, wrestling midgets who seem to have more energy in the middle of the night than any small person really should. You ache all over, you cannot physically drink enough coffee to kick start your system and all you can hear above the shouting of your children is the siren call of your bed and warm duvet.
On a normal day you’d just hoike yourself up and get on with it but no, put in a call to The Emergency Service and in no time you are sent off to bed with a mug of warm chocolate and a lavender eye mask (and possibly a set of ear plugs), your children are whisked away to play suitably developmental and interesting games by a fully trained and enthusiastic nanny, your house is quietly straightened, toys tidied, the ironing mountain conquered whilst you sleep and you wake up to find a casserole bubbling away in the bottom of the oven.
Or perhaps you’re having one of those supermarket shops. The ones where both children are acting like tiny terrors. Despite being strapped into a trolley they are doing their level best to leave a trail of destruction in their wake, to damage the ear drums of all around and to ensure that every other parent can look at you and think ‘well at least I’m doing ok compared to that’… One quick phone call and a SWAT team arrives to grab your children and take them for a run around the park to burn off that excess energy, another helps you whizz through the shopping, checking your list for you and carrying your bags to the car.
Maybe you find yourself in town with a buggy with a puncture. If you’ve ever had to try and push a double buggy with only two functioning wheels any distance you’ll empathise completely with Sisyphus. You make the call and a minivan arrives with a technician who mends your buggy wheel and reinflates it, you are offered a ride home in a warm van which has a selection of suitable car seats. They even have a stash of raisins, biscuits and chocolate for the weary parent.
It would be like a Fairy Godmother for Weary Parents, an extra space before you hit the end of your tether, a helping hand when two just aren’t enough.
Trouble is that this is just a dream at the moment and I can’t work out how it could be made to pay as a business, the trouble is that whilst we all would love these services and a magic wand to make things better, unless there really is a fairy godmother someone is going to have to pay for them.
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm so do we think there would be demand? How much would you pay for a bit of extra help? An annual fee like the AA?
What do you think?