>If I had had a pound for every time I’ve been told over the last year that all Mr Muddling and I need to do is talk then I’d probably be a millionaire.
But you see, the trouble with ‘talking’ is that you need both sides to be ready, willing and able to talk.
Without that there is no chance of it being a meaningful conversation.
Of being a way to bridge across hurt, misunderstanding and distance.
Finally, after what seems likes aeons but is actually only a year, last night Mr Muddling and I finally talked about what we went through last year.
I was able to tell him how hurt I was at his apparent lack of concern, lack of understanding, lack of empathy.
To hear from him how it was a defensive mechanism, how he didn’t want to make me feel worse because it was my body failing to carry our baby, that he felt he needed to carry on in case him stopping made me unable to carry on completely.
I explained how some of the things he had said had echoed around my mind for months, driving us apart and undermining my trust in our marriage.
He explained how grim it was having to watch me suffer, watch me question myself and sink deeper and deeper into despair.
Finally, after months of walking together but a distance apart we have been able to reach out and connect with each other again.
We have finally begun to understand that what each of us did last year was what we needed to do in order to get through it.
And that we did get through it and that now we need get over it and move on.
And moving on starts with understanding the chasm that had divided us and being able to span it.
So yes, sometimes all you do need to do is talk. It can just take a long, long time to get to a place where that talk can happen.