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>My biggest fear – a meme

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Mellow Mummy has tagged me with the fear meme, revealing that she worries, as I’m sure lots of us do, about incompetency, especially in things baby related.

My biggest fear dates back to when I was aged 6 and moved schools from a lovely progressive touchy feely place to a rather different village school – where I was different, spoke differently and acted differently.  Where for the first time in an idyllic, protected childhood I was horribly bullied because I was the newcomer, the outsider.

I fear that people won’t like me. 

That they won’t be able to like the real me -the one that speaks with a posh sounding RP accent (yes Mr Australian back packer your jibes about it really upset me when we bumped into you on our honeymoon), that is driven and ambitious but still enjoys being a mother, that breastfeeds and baby wears but tries not to judge others who don’t but gets upset when people judge me for these behaviours, that is incredibly shallow about wanting to wear nice things but also is more than happy to get mud covered in the garden.

I am gradually learning to love myself, but I am still occaisionally crippled with worry that people don’t like me, only put up with me because they have to and can’t wait to move on and talk to the next person.

Yet I do know I have good friends, and I nurture them when I’m not beset by these worries because they know the true me and love and accept her.

I’d like to pass this onto the following

From Marketing to Milk I love the fact her blog header is a poster I had in my room at college

Homeschool/home educate in Italy Sarah has even worse bad driver problems than I do… and hers are pilgrims

New Mummy she’s also going to hell for fast forwarding through the tugging at your heart strings bits on telephon nights

Shouty Dad who also knows that the right end to a day of midget wrestling is a LARGE glass of wine

Snaffles Mummy I am totally lusting after her beautiful sewing machine

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4 comments to >My biggest fear – a meme

  • New Mummy

    >Lol, thanks for introduction!!Bless and your fear, I know where you coming from.

    I've already admitted my biggest fear, I do a whole post on it but will think of a another one I have, to be honest there is plenty.

  • Livi

    >You're not the only one who fears that people wont like her, I have that fear too. I think a lot of us do. It's good that you're learning to love yourself though 🙂

  • JulieB

    >I can relate to this as well. It does seem to be more of a female thing, doesn't it? I suppose all that conditioning in our early years has a lot to answer for – "nice girls", "good girls". I think also women can be more bitchy, and I wonder if this also contributes to the insecurity; always wondering what people are saying behind backs (or even to your face, if your Australian is anything to go by!)

    I'm slowly learning to come to terms with myself now, I think a lot of that comes with age. x

  • Mummy Bear

    >HELLLLOOOOOOOOO! Have you just taken those words straight out of my mouth! Gosh, if I see someone I know I never say hello as I think to me myself – they don't want to talk to me. We are a paranoid bunch! But take comfort in teh knowledge that it IS a common trait and that you are loved dearly!

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