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>Returning to work – reaching a zen point


I have been doing a lot of thinking recently about this and I think I have finally reached a point where I know where I stand.

Please don’t fall off your chairs laughing and remind me about this too much in the future.

Bottom line is that I want to work.

Whether or not it makes me a bad Mother, I enjoy my time away, being an adult, being a professional, exercising my brain and to be fair working at a career where I’ve had to work hard to get where I am.  I’m not ready to throw that all away and there is no option to go away for a few years and come back.

I also have to admit I do like being able to go to the loo without having to give a running commentary, to drink a cup of tea before it gets cold and to dress up in proper clothes that don’t have baby sick on them.

That said, I realise I am going to miss my girls.  A lot.  But it is within my power to ensure I enjoy my time when I am with them and to sneak the odd day away from the office to play with them.

So where I find myself is that I realise that the next couple of months will be tough whilst we reacclimatise to me being away.  But that there are things I can do to make it better.  I’ve set myself a list of things I want to do to make me feel I’m doing ok – to allow me to do the best I can at all these things despite limited time and conflicting demands.

And thanks to Spud and EU President Herman Van Rompuy, I have a new mantra – ‘can I live with it’.

Can I live with the house not being terribly tidy?
Can I live with the girls wearing outfits I probably would never choose?
Can I live with us eating rather more take out than I’d like?
Can I live with sitting down and doing nothing when I need a break?
Can I live with work not being the be-all and end-all?

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, can I?

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12 comments to >Returning to work – reaching a zen point

  • jumblyMummy

    >Don't feel guilty about wanting to work. I know how you feel… when I'm at work I feel like a real human being again, no longer defined by the term "mummy". I love my days with my little girl but I also enjoy the challenges of my job. Since returning to work 2 months ago, I've approached work a little differently, making sure I leave on time etc. but it really does feel good to be back. And yes, you can definitely cope with a dusty house, and takeaway every so often is certainly not a crime. Well done for being you and returning to what you're good at.

  • The Dotterel

    >I should say you can answer in the affirmative to pretty much all of those questions… But can you answer this one: how come van Rumpole's paid more as President of the EU than Obama? Who voted for him? And what's he doing on your blog?!

  • Jen

    >I am an 'each to their own' girl, so if working is what you want then go for it:) Similarly, if you wanted to be at home I would say 'go for it' too. Sometimes people forget that a Mum is still a person in their own right. A happy Mum means a happy family, so whatever makes you happy is very very important. I hope it works out really well for you:) Jen.

  • mummy limited

    >I think it's great that you've thought about this and realised that you want to work. It will make your acclimatisation (sp?) period easier I should imagine.
    Sounds like you already know the answer to your questions about what you can live with. Good for you and good luck come D-Day. xx

  • make do mum

    >I'm thinking about returning to work myself and hope I'm not made to feel guilty! It just feels right to me but it's the childcare that I am finding a real problem.
    Hope it all works out for you!

  • Penny Wolff

    >I really enjoyed reading your post. As a woman who works with women helping them get back to work after having children, its lovely to hear someone realising that there is absolutely nothing to feel guilty about when deciding to go back to work.

    It makes us better parents if we are able to have some time to just be ourselves. At the end of the day its about doing what is best for you and your family – there should be no guilt about returning to work !

    Best of luck
    Penny Wolff

  • auntiegwen

    >I've always worked except when I've been on maternity leave. Sometimes full time, sometimes part time, sometimes because I had to and sometimes because I wanted to.

    My kids are fine, and yours will be too. xxxx

  • Rosie Scribble

    >I think you can live with a slightly untidy house! You have to follow your heart and do what you know is right for you and your family. I understand exactly where you are coming from. I enjoy working and gain a lot from it. A happy mum means a happy child. I really enjoy engaging in an adult world where there are no children involved, then I enjoy spending time with my daughter at the end of the day. I feel we have got the balance right, and you'll get that balance right too after a period of adjustment.

  • Manicmum

    >Good for you. Sanity lies outside the home, I reckon… XX

  • planb

    >Given that I've just taken the leap the other way – and am giving up after going back for the second time – you might think that I'd be saying DON'T DO IT!! But I'm not. Go you! I've been having this ongoing argument with whoever will listen about the importance for mums of having some time to themselves, to be themselves. For me, work wasn't it, but it clearly is for you. And who cares about the tidy house anyway?! Good luck!

  • Amy

    >Hannah, you have summed it all up perfectly. I craved to find some work i could do around the kids and friends often say how lucky I am being able to do this but I often have moments when I wish I had a full time job, still had meetings to go to, other countries to visit etc etc. The grass is always greener. Whatever choices you make it is never perfect and times are often tough….. but putting it into perspective (this is me giving myself a talking to, not you) things could be a whole lot worse.
    Good luck in your first week. I bet you will have a ball xxx

  • marisworld

    >Ha! Look what I found having come by to see you after your comment on my SAHM v Career girl post the other day!
    Seems great minds think alike?

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