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>Do your family and friends know you blog? Do you want them to?


I’m quite proud of my little blog.  I can’t believe I’ve been doing this for nearly a year and that actually there are people out there reading it and enjoying what I write and connecting with me about these posts.
But it took me a very long time to share with anyone that I do this – that I have an active virtual life alongside my real one.
In fact when I mentioned it to Mr Muddling it was an offhand remark that he mostly ignored.  And he’s only had a quick squizz around here a couple of times (and never left a comment).  But he has been rather taken by the Pancake Fun and the Chocolate Tasting and the fact I’ve made it into the Tots100.
So much so that I spent time at the weekend on eggshells as he dropped into conversation that we’d done some of these fun things as part of my Mummy life.
And I realised that I wasn’t sure I wanted him to tell people about my blog.  I mean not even my best friend knows about it and I share everything with her – she knew about my pregnancies before everyone else, she knows some of my shameful secrets and we’ve even shared a bed!
Its not that I’m ashamed of it but that I’m not sure how people outside the blogging community view blogs – are we seen as internet nutters, wierdos with friends, egomaniacs wittering into the ether?
And will they like what they read on here?  
Have I written anything that isn’t sufficiently opaque to make the characters recognisable? 
Have I shared too much detail?  
Might something offend someone?  
Would knowing they might read this mean that I’d have to self edit differently?
Is it time to out myself as a blogger or better to stay hidden away and not share that I do this?
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19 comments to >Do your family and friends know you blog? Do you want them to?

  • It's a Mummys Life

    >I told my husband and friends initially, but interestingly they have been the least engaged in it. IN fact he doesn't read it anymore as it all became a bit awkward and I'd find myself censoring it a bit too much. My sisters and dad read it though and for them it's a way to keep up with me as we don't live too near. Your blog is informative and quite personal but certainly not defamatory of anyone at all, so I wouldn't worry. You have a great blog, Be proud of it!

    ps; i love the online community. It's a very supportive place.

  • The Moiderer

    >Once more I am totally with you on your thinking. My hubby actively reads my blog and has a habit of going on with my 18 month old daughters account and posting comments!
    My best friend sees it to and occasionaly comments to me about something she has read. I think it actually brings them both closer to me because I find it very hard to talk about what I am feeling. My hubby even says that he likes it because it helps him understand what I think about things!
    Unfortunately my mother also knows about it and that is a real problem for me. She sometimes comments and I just want to delete them.
    Nobody from my current job knows about it but most of the people I know are ex-colleagues and I have always used my blog as a good way of keeping in touch with them because they are spread all over the world. In fact some of them have also started blogging for the same reason. It is these people that leave the majority of comments on my blog.
    Then finally its the Twitter and Blogger gang that read it. These are the ones I am least concerned about because I try and keep a degree of anonymity in how I blog.

    I have the same worries about honesty and level of detail, particularly given that so many people who read it physically know me. But then I decide, what the hell – I enjoy writing it. In fact I need to write it. I will just have to deal with any consequences as a result (so far there have been none and I have been blogging since 2005)

  • Crystal Jigsaw

    >I sometimes get a bit sensitive about my blog, careful about whom I tell. Husband doesn't read it and knows very little about it apart from when I show him a photograph I've posted, or if I've read something he might be interested in. I guess it's my own little world, my affair with the internet. And I prefer it that way.

    CJ xx

  • solveig

    >There are definitely things that I don't write about, or that I censor, because of the people I know who read my blog. My in-laws read it and I never told them about it, they just found it. I find it a bit intrusive to be honest, but if you publish something on the internet I think you have to accept that anyone can read it. I never actually tell anyone I blog, but people have found out – a mummy friend found it by googling for Dulwich Park cafe!!

    It's actually served as a useful measure for me – because anyone can find and read your blog I now always ask myself how I'd feel if my parents (who don't know about it, as far as I know!) were to discover it and read it.

    I also sort of hope my kids might read it one day, if it's still going, and that is a useful reminder to only put up things I'm comfortable with.

    But having said all that I'd love an anonymous blog where I could really vent!!!

  • The Dotterel

    >I suppose this all comes down to why we blog, and as I started mine to keep family and friends informed of Charlie's progress (and to give myself something to do between changing nappies!) pretty well everyone knows about it. Not that they all read it, but I know my parents do, plus in-laws; my wife does too, and friends. And then there's all the others. Sometimes I think I've gone too far, and that I ought to stop. It's a bit scary when you think of 'strangers' finding out so much about you and what makes you tick. But I've made some wonderful new friends through doing it – and they were strangers once. And, the bottom line is I enjoy it. It's good fun. And why should we be scared of doing anything because of the actions of a small minority of nutters?

    Now I'm totally off the point! I'd better stop.

    Good, thought-provoking post, though.

  • Very Bored in Catalunya

    >None of my real life friends know about my blog nor my family and that's the way I want it to stay. I think maybe because they won't get it and will maybe think me a bit weird, or maybe I like the fact that I could if I wanted to write about them, even though I haven't done as yet.

    T'husband knows about it and just see it as something else for me to do instead of the housework. He's not interested in reading it.

  • BNM

    >Three people know I blog and they are all close friends. One of them has even started her own blog after reading mine.
    My husband doesn't know I blog and thats the way its staying. My blog is about my family but its also a way for me to get things off my chest and not to keep things stuck inside.
    I've told my friends that what's on my blog is truthful and may sometimes be things I can't say out loud to them.
    But I do have a close friend who I haven't told as she would be constantly on the phone!(Let's hope she doesn't google me when bored..!)

    The only problem is the little white lies about chocolates….


  • Young Mummy

    >I'm the same at Dotterel – started the blog to keep the in-laws (who live a long way away) in touch with what's going on with their grandbabies. It has become a little weird though, as now my MIL seems to know more about my life as I do as she reads the blog about a million times a day. I do have to censor family-related chat because I don't want to offend anyone, which is a real shame as I have some great stories about my mum…

  • Jen

    >It took me a few months to 'come out' and I was a bit uncomfortable at the beginning but now I am fine. My husband reads my blog all the time, as do my family. As I am blogging about a specific aspect of our lives and I tend to keep it upbeat (I hope) I don't really have concerns about people seeing it. Jen.

  • MrsW

    >Oh everyone and their dog knows about my blog – including my kids – didn't you get the email? 🙂

    I even handed out Moo cards to strangers at the school gates with my URL when I was trying to raise support for the new supermarket in the village.

    Some of my friends read it, some dip in now and again and some aren't in the least bit interested but I treat what I say online pretty much the way I treat annything I write/text/discuss with a 3rd party – if I wouldn't say it to the someone's face I don't say it at all. And the only real names I use are my immediate family's.

    As far as my OH goes I guess I started the blog since he was dedicating so much time to his and I figured if you can't beat them… 🙂

  • Life through the Slim Lens

    >Its quite a dilemma & one I tend to avoid by only posting photos – I'm such a wuss ;o)

  • planb

    >B knows I blog because he was there at the start, and I can't imagine doing anything that he doesn't know about. More to the point, I can't imagine how I'd keep it a secret ("what on earth are you doing on the computer?!"). My friends sort of know about it – I very shamefacedly told a few acquaintances right at the beginning (like you, I wasn't sure how people would view me – and to be honest I'm still embarrassed about telling people I blog, though not really sure why), and then I put the fact I was BMB blogger of the week on my facebook status. No link, but various people found it. I don't know who of my friends and family do read it (other than two or three) but I find it all slightly cringy when they mention it (they very rarely comment).

    Do I wish they didn't know about it? Hell yes! If I could be totally anonymous (other than to B – see above) I'd take it like a shot.

    On the other hand, I find it really weird that some of my bloggy friends now know my real name…

  • solveig

    >Hello again,

    I have sent you a sunshine award from my blog. S x

  • auntiegwen

    >I like to keep it away from friends and family but I have met some bloggy buddies and they know me in a way my regular friends don't.

  • Diney

    >My son and future daughter in law read it and he told lots of his friends to drop in now and then too, all of whom I know pretty well, but amazingly I haven't told my own friends! It's difficult sometimes to be circumspect about content, though, knowing so many of my son's friends are reading!!

  • 1 husband, 2 kids (and lots of books)

    >My husband knows about mine – he reads and lets me have his critical feedback (which is not worth all that much given he's not exactly target market!) but felt easier to tell him from the start than drop it in a year later. Two friends know about it – one who I don't mind knowing anything (and I want to keep in long distance touch with – for which the blog helps) and one who I told to get some more honest feedback. As for anyone else, it's staying well and truly hidden. My family would be offended, I think, and I would worry like mad what the rest of my friends thought.

  • make do mum

    >I like the freedom that being anonymous gives me, although I do sometimes post photos of my daughter. I told OH about my blog this week, he didn't mention wanting to read it and was more pissed off that I was spending too much time on my computer than having kept it a secret from him!

  • Ladybird World Mother

    >Oh, I so know this dilemma!! Some people look at me as if I have some horrible disease when I say I blog… but I really and truly do it for myself and for my family… a kind of recording of what we have done… and some thoughts along the way. I have been blogging for about seventeen months… just had to work that one out! and so enjoy the fact that the last year and a half is now going to be remembered because I have WRITTEN IT ALL DOWN! So fab. You just enjoy what you write. I reckon you can tell people… just make sure you know EXACTLY why you blog and who it's for. Lovely post by the way… xxx

  • Nickie

    >I don't "hide" my blog from my family but I also don't talk about it. I have the freedom to write about things that amuse me and interest me.

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