I have decided that this year I will risk it and make some New Year’s resolutions – I usually don’t do this in January; my birthday is at the end of the month and arranging a party during the usual post Christmas hair-shirt wearing, excessive dieting, alcohol abstence isn’t a whole lot of fun – so I try and enjoy January
But I think we are emerging from the newborn daze and that its time to move on from 2009 and the pregnancy that rather took over the whole year in a fug of misery – to be honest, if it hasn’t been one thing this last year making me miserable, its be another and its not been a whole lot of fun for me or those who have to be around me.
I’ve been trying to think of resolutions where I am not setting myself up to fail – I don’t want this to be another situation in which I set myself stupidly high targets and then loathe myself when I inevitably fail to reach them.
I want to lose some of the baby weight but have to be realistic and accept that I’m going to have issues shifting too much until I stop breastfeeding all the time – Babygirl won’t be weaned onto solids until late April so there is little point in beating myself up about weight until after then. Instead I’m going to consciously exercise – walking every day, trying to find some form of exercise that I can get properly puffed out at a couple of times a week and spending more time doing active stuff rather than sitting around. Hopefully this will mean I start to feel healthier and happier about myself.
I have to learn to love this body as it is here and now – I’m not getting a new one anytime soon and it would be nice if instead of seeing flab and wobble I could see a body that has nurtured two lovely little girls (and entrapped Mr Muddling a LONG time ago…). I am not sure how I’m going to go about this (although the lovely Mummy Whisperer has some ideas …) but this is something I’m going to work on this year – I know I should love it, I just don’t.
But more importantly I have to get myself out of my current rut of grumpiness – its not fair on those around me and its not particularly nice and its definitely coming between me and my mojo. So I’m going to try and focus a bit more on the good things in my life – a wonderful husband, two lovely daughters, a home that we’re making really nice and the lovely friends I have. I’m going to try and find things to do that I will enjoy – that will remind me how to laugh and reclaim my sense of fun rather than mostly focusing on the bad things
So this is the year to ignore the ironing pile and instead to dance around the kitchen to Abba with my girls – to reclaim the fun stuff about being me and to find that elusive mojo !