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>Feeling hounded by work… again

>I can’t decide if I need to grow a backbone or not.

My boss has sent me a pushy email this morning insisting on finding half an hour to do my annual review before the end of the week. This would be the man that wrote my review before I’d uploaded my personal statement… so who obviously has taken time to check what I’ve done this year (in his books presumably just be pregnant and on sick leave and then maternity leave). Oh and this is afterall the man who told me about 6 months ago that he only needed 6 months to replicate my 10 years + of specialist product experience…
I have been trying to find half an hour to call him over the last few days to suggest we need a proper sit down to set my objectives for next year once I know what is going on but have failed to find that half an hour when Babygirl hasn’t been feeding or squawking. Also to give me a chance to talk through my return to work, the fact I’ll still be breastfeeding and the fact that I’m not comfortable doing overnights away until Babygirl is 6 months (WAY too much pumping otherwise).
I’m getting this niggling feeling that I’m being set up to get a really low rating, to be in the fire zone and basically to be either got rid of or to have my life made so difficult I have no option but to leave.
So instead of the things I’d hoped to do this morning I’m going to be drafting emails to try and damage limit this. But first I’m going to have a big cry – I wish I could say that I don’t believe they are doing this but instead its just misery that once again they are hassling me whilst I’m on maternity leave, putting me in a position where I cannot achieve their requirements and setting things up to be horrid when I go back.
There are times when I wish I had a job where I could be left alone to enjoy my new baby whilst I’m on my maternity leave and not reduced to tears by them.
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10 comments to >Feeling hounded by work… again

  • Ang (A Mum's Survival Guide)

    >I hope it works out for you. That must be really hard to have to stay away from your baby over night. I don't think I could do it. Do you have to go back?

  • make do mum

    >Surely your boss shouldn't be hounding you while you are on maternity leave? Try to stay positive, it might not be as bad as you think x

  • zooarchaeologist

    >I didn't think legally they were allowed to hassle you when you were on maternity leave! Nightmare scenario. Don't know what to say to help. Get it out of your system then re-evaluate how to deal with it all. Things are better after a bit of sleep

    On a practical note, I could take her for a walk around the block whilst you are doing the phonecall when Toddler boy is at pre-school if that helps. xxx

  • Metropolitan Mum

    >Oh crap. What a w*****. Sorry, but really! That makes me so angry.
    I hope you find the energy to sort things out. Don't let them hassle you!
    xx D

  • Hearth-mother

    >This is horrid. I'm having a row at the moment too – I'm a teacher and the school won't even pay for me to have a half day to talk to the person who has been taking my classes. I start back full time in January and when the bell goes, I'm off, straight back in to it, with no idea what anyone has been doing in my absence. I know it's different to your situation, but I feel that they are really taking the mickey and it makes me so cross. We shouldn't be bullied!

  • Holly

    >I feel for you. That's terrible. Is it just male bosses or are women the same do you think. I was promoted between my maternity leaves (went back after last one in November) and when I told my boss I was preggers again he said 'well if I'd known I would never have promoted you, you should have told me sooner'. Sought legal advice quicksmart and told him where to stick his comments. Love my job though and actually it's fine now. Hope you felt better after the cry, I find it helps normally. Love your blog btw.

  • Muddling Along Mummy

    >Ang – thank you – do really have to go back, I love what I do (is very specialised) and with Mr's job a bit wobbly need the security of both of us earning

    Make do mum – am hoping I'm just being paranoid, trouble is been here and seen it last maternity leave ..

    zooarchaeologist – thank you for the offer of help – think I've deferred it until the New Year but I REALLY appreciate the offer

    Metropolitan Mum – think I have a small victory over this problem. Just know there will be more problems ahead … is so disappointing but hey, is life

    Hearth-Mother – that's nuts – how can they expect you to go back like that. Really hope it works out ok

    Holly – I'm in a bit of a similar position – think if they'd known I was pregnant last January I wouldn't have been promoted … didn't plan to have a nightmare pregnancy and really do feel they might give me credit for all the travel and late nights I did (that might have contributed to the problems …)
    And thank you :-)

  • cartside

    >that sounds awful – glad to read in the comments that at least the edge of the issue is a bit off. I dont' see how you should have this meeting – can it not wait until closer to end of your mat leave? Also the issue of nights away – you are very accommodating with 6 months. I couldn't do it for the first 18 months, honest, my daughter would have cried all night. Fortunately, my employer accepted it although they also encouraged me to go to meetings that would have involved overnight stays.

    Hope it gets sorted and it doesn't give Christmas a bad taste

  • platespinner

    >Hi, coming to this a bit late, but tried to leave a comment the other night and the laptop revolted on me. Glad it sounds like things are a little better. I think your boss is being completely unreasonable, and potentially illegal too. I've been away overnight for work once, and it was fine, but I had finished breastfeeding by then and my daughter was about 16 months or so. Hope all works out x

  • Notes to self plus two and the need for red shoes

    >Hello, this post made me so angry and so sad. Such issues, potential issues for me, are what lead me to blogging.
    So much more poignant after the post you wrote defending your industry and role.
    I always want women to stand tall in the workplace but god, so soon, it is so easy to see why you would decide to stand aside from these T**ts. Sending you strength! If you love what you do (i know you do) I send you the strength and confidence to know you do it well. Let Bad man be as he is, you cannot change him only your response to him (easier said than done I know ;-)). Ignore him, deal with him when you are back, and go back knowing you are darn good.
    You need time, give it to yourself not him!
    Love Ms Y

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