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>The next person that says this gets a slap

>Labour is not a competition, right?

That said, the next person that tells me that a very short labour is ‘easy’ or ‘wow I’d like that’ or ‘lucky you’ is going to be lucky to escape physical violence.
Just a few things I’d like to point out
Firstly they don’t tell you when you start a fast labour that it’ll all be over quickly – if they did that would be fine, you could sit there and count down knowing it’d be over fast. Instead you have this labour going from nothing to something very quickly and worry that you can’t cope, that if this is going on for another 20+ hours you are in real trouble and anyway time really does do funny things and trust me that 10 minutes can seem like hours.
Secondly it doesn’t give you time to mentally prepare – one moment you are thinking it might be tummy ache, the next you’re unable to move 5 feet across the room to get off the rug. And then you can feel something that feels distinctly like a head and there is nobody there to help.
Nor does it give your partner to do more than get into the flapping around like a headless chicken phase so they tend to be naff all use really. Which means you’re in pain, thinking you can’t cope and have no emotional support.
Thirdly it means no pain relief – none at all – you can beg but there isn’t time to get it in from the car, and anyway as my midwife puts it there’s no point because the baby is coming anyway. I’ve heard lovely things about pain relief but I’ve not had the chance to try them. And I’d have given an arm or a leg quite frankly to make some of the pain go away.
And fourthly the sheer speed of delivery does terrible things to the remains of your pelvic floor. That take a long time to get resolved.
So whilst it isn’t a competition, I’d just like to register that perceptions of ‘easy’ or ‘nice to have’ can be mistaken and please don’t make this mistake – or at least don’t be the next person to make this mistake around me
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8 comments to >The next person that says this gets a slap

  • Domestic Goddesque

    >I hear you, though find competition is also about how little 'intervention' you've had and how 'natural' a birth you've had. This leads on to whether you are breastfeeding, co-sleeping, baby-led weaning, learning Russian, sitting up, walking, talking, etc etc etc.

    It sucketh. I read the bit about the Pelvic Floor and winced. That's something they NEVER tell you at NCT class!

  • Then There Were Three

    >I had a quick one, and it meant Mr couldn't get to me in time and missed everything 🙁

  • Mwa

    >Ouch. I was so grateful for pain relief, I don't even want to think about doing it without.

  • cartside

    >ok, ok, I'll try not to make that mistake!
    Mine was long, but "only" the last 4 hours were real bad. So if I imagine them to be condensed… Oh better not. Better run. Bye.

  • Amy

    >i totally agree, i had a 1hour 40 min labour with 2year old and it was the most painful hour and 40 of my life, i managed a few gasps of gas and air and a shot of pethidine 5mins before she was born lol! It took me ages to get over the birth after a heavy bleed afterwards and the pure shock of it all, i still go on about it today. xx

    p.s what's a pelvic floor? lol

  • Erin

    >I had a quick labor. I was convinced that I should induce (and agreed against my better judgment.) My water was broken at 7:30, at 9:10 I was begging for the epidural (BEGGING.) I got my epidural and sitting up to get it forced me from 7 cm to fully dilated and crowning. (Hello, pressure! Have we met before?) There wasn't enough time for the epidural to kick in before Kairi was born. I got the epidural at almost 10 and she was born at 10:10.
    Everyone says they are jealous, and while it was a unique experience (and I think it's so cool that I actually did it without the pain meds working) I just wanna snap necks when I hear what a 'good' labor I must have had. It wasn't fun.

  • angelsandurchinsblog

    >I've had elective c-sections each time (didn't want to, and don't get me started on 'oh, too posh to push ha ha' conversations) and mentioned how sad I was not to have experienced labour pains to a couple of friends. I soon learnt not to mention that particular 'sadness'. However you do it, nothing's more important than getting the baby out. I'm with Domestic Goddesque – whatever next, Mandarin NCT classes?

  • Late night mum

    >I was start to finish 5 hours but incredibly lucky as the water birth and gas and air got me through. I guess I am one of those annoying people that mention this… now I am stressing out as number 2 is likely to be faster. Two friends who had similar first births to me both were delivered by ambulance second time round…..

    In 3 months I think I am going to learn it can hurt even more second time round!

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