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>Caution – rant alert … yes I still have childcare & I’m on maternity leave

>I’m not sure why this is bugging me so much but I need to offload – I’ve been made to feel a bit, well odd and well as if I need to apologise, because despite being on maternity leave we have left our childcare arrangements in place.

There were a few good reasons for this – firstly it gave Toddlergirl some continuity when the new baby arrived and we wanted to minimise the disruption to her (given how things have been I think that more disruption might finish us off …), I’m also going back to work full time at the start of March and probably part time in February so we decided that having got a wonderful nanny it made sense to keep her and avoid having to find a replacement, pay the agency fees and go through the whole acclimatisation process, and yes, I’m lucky to have a good maternity package from work so we can afford it.
What it also means is that I have time to dedicate to Babygirl, to enjoying her, to feeding her and more importantly it means that Mr Muddling (who is having a pants time at work) doesn’t need to worry about taking time off which is difficult for him to do at the moment (he worked from home for the first two days after she arrived but is now back to normal – leaving early and getting home after bedtime).
All in all I think a sensible decision taken rationally by us as a couple.
But from some of the comments I’ve had you’d think I was some wealthy type who has a nanny and no more to do in her day than worry about going to the gym and getting her nails done.
Why does it matter? It doesn’t impact anyone else? Is there some kind of competition going on to see who can make their life the hardest that I’ve unwittingly signed up for and now failed to play by the rules?
Why are you making me feel that I need to apologise for my choices? Is this tied into the fact that most mothers around here don’t go back to work and so full time childcare is an anomaly? Is this tied into the working mum guilt I’m supposed to have?
I have one word for you – blah !
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11 comments to >Caution – rant alert … yes I still have childcare & I’m on maternity leave

  • siobhan

    >You absolutely do not need to explain yourself or justify your childcare arrangements. Looking after a newborn is a fulltime job. I totally agree that the fewer disruptions for toddlergirl the better. I was determined life would go on as normal for my son when no2 was born, it's what they need.

  • zooarchaeologist

    >I don't think you need to justify yourself. If I could afford some childcare I would, as it is I'm run ragged and have been since the toddler was born. Even when I am back at work I can only afford a day a half childcare the rest is going to be cobbled together with the help of family and friends. If I was in a position where I could afford proper childcare I would jump at the chance. Its all about quality of life isn't it. You enjoy the time with your baby and don't even think about anyone else, they are only jealous! xx

  • 20somethingmum

    >Hun, I wouldn't take any notice of a few small minded individuals. I think it makes perfect sense to keep up Toddlergirls routine, as that can make the difference between a happy child and a grizzling wreck. She needs to have a bit of one on one time with someone-so if her poor dad is frazzled at work and she already has a nanny she likes than that's great!

  • clareybabble

    >Come by to say an incredibly late congratulations on the birth of your baby girl 🙂
    We stopped sending S to the childminder when I was on maternity leave but only because we were lucky enough to have one who was prepared to keep open the spaces. If not then we would have continued to send him.
    Don't feel like you have to justify any of your parenting decisions as you are doing what's right for you and that's all that matters!
    There's an award over at mine for you x

  • Perfectly Happy Mum

    >Congratulations for the birth of your little girl!! and I am so sorry to have missed the post. I haven't checked my google reader for a little while now so catching up on posts. It is so nice to hear it all went well!

    Regarding childcare you do not need to explain anything to anyone. You are able to afford childcare and you have a newborn. You can do whatever you feel is the right thing for you and your family, and if this is the right thing then by any means do! We had E at childminder 3 full days a week until V was 9 months and I didn't feel guilty at all. Like you say about your little girl we wanted to keep the disturbance to a minimum and gosh he was having so much fun! He had the same friends and was going to the same playgroups. I couldn't do all this with him because we all know that a newborn is a lot of work. It wasn't a selfish decision, it was a decision made with my husband for what we believed was best for our son.
    Anyone judging you? Say B****cks to them!

  • Hearth-mother

    >I love the two and a half days that my two year old is still in nursery for, and as you say, gives me precious time with my baby. I have to say though, I don't openly advertise the fact for fear of accusations of un-motherliness. You're right – why should it?

  • Mwa

    >I think a lot of the judging comes from either envy or guilt. I get a lot of comments because I'm still at home with the kids even though my youngest is nearly two, and I also have her in the creche two days a week. I do go to get my hair done and I go to the gym. And I get a LOT of comments. But hey, this works for me. And the family.

    In Belgium, everyone seems to be going back to work when their baby is about three months old (it varies a bit). So I'm a bit of an oddity, I suppose.

    I hope you can shake off the comments. I find it hard, but they are all out of line.

  • Working Mum

    >Sounds like a very sensible decision to me. (Like I used to send my daughter to the childminder for two days a week in the school holidays to keep the continuity of care) And you do not have to explain yourself!

  • Then There Were Three

    >Ignore them. I think it's a fab idea. People also made snide comments at me as I have kept my dog walker on for the lunchtime walk….

  • Thespian Mum

    >There are so many different types of mothers out there, you're never going to please everyone. Sounds like you're definitely doing the right thing for you and your family, and that's what it is all about 🙂 I'm trying to get back into pursuing my acting career so have a nanny most week days, but I literally want to slap my husband when he tells people that as I don't like to feel like I'm doing something wrong by having help!!

  • Late night mum

    >I am planning on doing the exact opposite and pulling my son out of full-time nursery when number two comes along, so its interesting to get the other perspective.

    I am a firm believer in people making the choices that are right for them and others should respect that. I have found that often the negative comments I get are just others trying to justify their own choices.

    In the beginning I had 'you'll never go back to work' then once back at work they were encouraging me to quit…

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