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>Dear so and so – part 4

>Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh time for my weekly therapy …

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Dear Baby2,
Can’t say I enjoyed Tuesday and your abortive attempt to arrive. Any chance you could get a wriggle on now? People are starting to get concerned you are not coming out and wanting to do things to help you.
I’m not saying you’re a contrary little thing but after 4 months of threatening to arrive it does seem a little peculiar that you’re so determined to not come now…
Love
Mummy x
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Dear Mr Muddling,
Just a small point, next time I wake you to tell you I’m in labour you are supposed to be all lovey and focused on me and the baby NOT that you also have the bug that I’ve got.
And running around like a headless chicken doesn’t help anyone – I have now written you a detailed list of what to do, please go through and tick everything off to keep yourself occupied whilst I get on with things.
L&VVBSS
Hx
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Dear Toddlergirl,
I know that you’ve rumbled that something is up but refusing to walk anywhere is getting a little difficult to deal with. And yes its very cute that you can ask for a cuddle but we have worked out that you are just asking so you can be carried…
All is going to be fine (honestly)
Love
Mummy x
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Dear Ginger,
We hope you like your new home – your choices come down to this, behave and learn from these nice chickens how to act like a chicken (and to not peck the nanny… bad move that) or you will become lunch. I was all for missing out this step and you having a hot date with the Aga this weekend…
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Dear Wasp man,
I think you are wonderful – I love that you turned up and found the nest (still bemused how Mr Muddling missed something the size of a beach ball…) and then applied lots of toxic chemicals to kill the contents. Must admit to being slightly worried when you needed to put on the full body protection gear given I’ve slept in the room near the nest for days but hey.
I’m not sure you’re as manly as the tree surgeons but you’re definitely up there on my list
H
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Dear internet connection thingy at my parents,
I’m not sure what you’re up to but somehow you have got yourself registered as being an uber spammer which I’m fairly sure my parents aren’t. This means I can’t send emails through you because they get impounded.
Any chance you could find a way to stop doing this, I’m not addicted to being in touch but it is nice to be able to communicate with the outside world
H
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