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>Dear so and so – part 3

>Beware I have The Rage – stepping within my range of fire may result in a broadside of ire …

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Dear curtain making people,
If you don’t want my business please just say and we can stop wasting my time. So far you have lost the details of my order, not called when you said you would and generally been a bit rude. I’m happy to go elsewhere – its not ideal but someone else may actually act like they want my hard earned cash…
Yours
H
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Dear New Car Dealership,
I paid for the car, it is registered in my name, and the financing agreement is with me so please stop sending letters to and calling my husband about it. I am not a kept woman and this is not the 1950s.
Yours
H
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Dear Mr Muddling,
In case you hadn’t noticed I am about to have your child – a little consideration, love, spoiling would not go amiss at this point. Especially after I had your Mum to stay all last weekend.
I’m not going to go into it now but it would also be nice for you to acknowledge that I am being incredibly reasonable about you heading off to Dubai on what increasingly sounds like a jolly next weekend. And the fact you won’t be back until tea time on the Sunday.
A hint to help you get through the next few weeks – spoil me, tell me you love me, generally act like I’m the most wonderful woman in the world and DO NOT mention how big I am EVER AGAIN
Love
H x
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Dear Baby2,
Ok we’ve made it to 37 weeks – well done and all that.
Would it be possible for you to arrange to either arrive this weekend (which is my preference) but not next week when Daddy is in Dubai or after 11th October but before 22nd October? Afraid I have had enough of being pregnant with you after all of the fuss and excitement
Love
Mummy x
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Dear Toddlergirl,
I realise that you have rumbled that Something Is Up. Don’t worry its not a big deal and you’ll be fine with it.
Any chance you could consider sleeping at night though and showing your displeasure in other ways – I’m nearly broken by the lack of sleep.
Love
Mummy x
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Dear Ginger*,
You have until Sunday to improve your behaviour or you are being sent off for remedial training. This is likely to mean you will have a lower position in the pecking order (which won’t be fun) or you end up as Sunday lunch (ditto)
Have a think about it please
H
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Dear delivery driver,
They are chickens, not man eating dogs. Have you any idea how ridiculous you look calling me from your van to ask me to call them off? They don’t even come up to the middle of your calves and they are not going to harm you
Regards
H
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As to the rest of you – form an orderly queue and I’ll deal with you later … this Rage doesn’t appear to be disappearing anytime soon
* Ginger is a chicken, she doesn’t think she’s a chicken which seems be the root of the problem…
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4 comments to >Dear so and so – part 3

  • Domestic Goddesque

    >Bloody hell- what a week you've had (am sure that you may be my alter ego since our lives have such an extraordinary similarity) hope it gets better. And well done Baby2 on getting to 37 weeks.

  • Brit in Bosnia / Fraught Mummy

    >More about Ginger please!

    Brilliant. I love these posts. And the rage is good for Dear So and So. Loved it.

  • MuddynoSugar

    >Brilliant loved that. I had the Rage when I was pregnant, and still do every month.

    Good luck with Baby2, I hope they stick to the schedule.

    I do disagree with you about the chickens (sorry – have issues with chickens) they are basically evil and will peck you (on your calves – which hurts!)if you don't have food. Ginger needs to become dinner. Get Ducks they are much nicer and can also provide eggs.

  • zooarchaeologist

    >Chickens round these parts?!
    Come baby soon before theres even more trouble…

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