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>Living in the land of the Stepford Mummies

>There are times when I love where we live – we’re the perfect distance from the City where both Mr Muddling and I work, in easy distance of both sets of parents, we have lots of nice countryside but are still within touching distance of civilisation.

But then there are times when I realise that actually I live in the land of the Stepford Mummies and I get quite scared. Yes, around here in this little pocket of middle class affluence which we live near the norm is not so much a yummy mummy with her dedication to looking good and dressing well but a Stepford Mummy where the whole ante has been up-ed several times.
The system isn’t even set up for your average, bog standard full time Mum to navigate – as far as I can see its impossible without having a team of help at home. There can be no way a normal Mum can do this without having super powers.
The hoops you have to jump through are difficult and seem to have been designed purely to trip up those with less dedication or concentration. Take signing up for swimming lessons. There is a LONG waiting list but its not something you can add your child’s name to at any time. Turns out there is a small window during which you need to turn up to the swimming pool in person during the day, give them £5 for the privilege and a pound of flesh (ok I’m fibbing about the last one).
My big problem is that finding out about this hoop is almost impossible – I have failed miserably to get Toddlergirl onto the list because I didn’t even know that the hoop existed, let alone the complicated rules on how to jump through it.
The problem seems to get far worse as they get older. To get your child into the good primary school you need to go and help out at their coffee afternoons from about age 6 months. Great if you have the time, rubbish if your child needs to sleep in the afternoon or you’re out earning money to pay the mortgage. I think we’ll be reduced to trying to bribe the local priest to sign off on our letters and sacrificing small animals to the necessary gods – has to be easier than the regular alternative!
I’m sure there must be other Mummies around here equally baffled by the secret mysteries of the Stepford Mummies. My job for the rest of my maternity leave is going to be to find them, to collate our knowledge of the system and hopefully play them at their own game – safety in numbers? I think so!
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2 comments to >Living in the land of the Stepford Mummies

  • zooarchaeologist

    >Lol, dont get me started! Well by tommorrow you will have found at least 3 normal mums. Its ridiculous, i'm about to write a blog about my quest to put the baby down for Rainbows. The Toddler is on the Scout list already and hes not even the first of his age. Its all ridiculous around here. Too much money, too many nannies, no reality checks. Only 1 person from my NCT group talks to me, im not trendy and rich enough for the rest. Deep breaths, sigh…

  • Domestic Goddesque

    >I had to put the Pocket Dictator down for nursery, which she will start the term after she turns two, when I was six months pregnant. Having a similar issue with Swimming classes. Maybe it's just London. Maybe we should all move to Slough and teach our kids how to kill someone with their bare hands!!

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