I didn’t realise when I got pregnant with Toddlergirl that I was also developing super powers – that somehow I would get extra abilities (how Heros !) in order to cope with having children. I have got Mummy Superpowers !
1. Super Mummy Hearing
I can hear an unhappy whimper down the corridor, through two shut doors or even from the end of the garden. Normally noises don’t register but an unhappy whimper does.
2. Super Mummy Speed
I can move at speeds that would make Usain Bolt jealous. I can swoop to remove my knitting from small paws before its totally unravelled, to pick up food off the floor before the 10 second rule kicks in and to pick up her when she tumbles down.
3. Super Mummy Reactions
I can be out of bed and halfway down the corridor reacting to unhappy whimpers before I’ve even woken up – I have woken up outside the bathroom in mid dash to Toddlergirl’s room with no idea how I got there.
4. Super Mummy Juggling
I can sit drinking with friends and actually carry on a conversation with them, drink (some) coffee, watch Toddlergirl, dispense rice cakes, read a storybook, stop her pulling everything out of my handbag and eat cake simultaneously. This tends to work better when with Mummy friends than non-combatants – I think the non-baby people dilute my powers (or maybe its the white wine they make me drink ?). I can also bath, wash my hair and sing nursery rhymes but that is at the less impressive end of the spectrum !
5. Super Mummy Magic
I can make bumps, bruises and nettle stings go away with a kiss, I can scare away nighttime monsters and fears with a cuddle and I can hide vegetables inside any food !
6. Super Mummy Impermeability
And interestingly I’ve also developed a magical resistance to bodily fluids. Yesterday we took off Toddlergirl’s nappy after tea to give her nappy rash a chance to get some air (yes, I know, deeply foolish timing if you think about it) and went off to pick some beans for dinner. I only realised that the inevitable poo moment had occurred when she put one small, poo covered hand in mine. Cue dash to the house, hosing out of wellies and hosing down of Toddlergirl and me. Fortunately my new superpowers meant I wasn’t utterly grossed out by the whole thing but amused at my own inability to think that one through !