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Parental separation anxiety

return to work diary According to all the parenting books sometime around 7 months babies start to realise that they aren’t actually physically part of you and that you can walk away and leave them.  Their separation anxiety suddenly kicks in and even stepping around the corner for a second has the same high level panic as leaving them to actually go somewhere – it’s only over time that they gradually learn that you will come back

What the books forget to tell you about is the parental separation anxiety

Last week I had to leave Littlest overnight for the first time – it’s about the same age that I had to leave the girls overnight and logically I know that Mr M can take good care of them, that there’s a freezer full of milk and there really is nothing to worry about

The reality is very different – I found myself fretting that I hadn’t had updates from back home every hour, that I didn’t know EXACTLY how much he had eaten and how much milk he had had and that I hadn’t had pictures showing everyone all smiling and happy

Logic went totally out of the window – it didn’t matter that N has looked after all three from early morning to late at night without anything going wrong, the fact that I was 4 hours travel away meant I couldn’t drop it all and rush back if something went wrong

But we survived – Littlest was INCREDIBLY pleased to see me the next evening (‘Mummy you came back! And you brought my boobs!’) and nothing had gone wrong

I’d forgotten that the first time away is always the hardest.  This week we are doing it all over again (2 nights this time…) and yesterday wasn’t as angst ridden for me and the reports from back home suggest that Littlest didn’t wake up multiple times through the night to check if there was something there to provide him with milk just in case he fancied it

I know that when I get back he’ll want to sleep curled up with me, one hand on my boob to reassure himself that we are back but that is just a way to make up for missed cuddles

I know it won’t suddenly become easy to be away from them all – I miss them painfully and constantly – but it does get less hard

Summer holiday bored jar printable

summer holiday bored jar


Summer holidays – long sunny days full of fun and happiness with none of the dull restrictions of school runs and school rules or long days full of small children telling you how bored they are?

With eight (8!!!) whole weeks of summer ahead and having moved from man marking to zonal defence [...]

Time flies

July 2014


I don’t know where the weeks go – I seem to still be rushing around and yet still not actually feeling as if I am managing to do much

Weekends pass especially quickly – too quickly

Time is mostly taken up with a chubby baby, trying to keep ontop of the washing mountain, trying [...]

Back to work diaries – 5 weeks done

return to work diary


Before I came back someone told me that week three would be the worst week – looking back from the lofty position of 5 weeks back to work I think I have to agree

The third week was not a good week – I got tired, I got properly poorly and had to come home from work [...]

The Year of Doom continues


I was hoping that our Year Of Doom was over, that we had had enough go wrong and whoever we had offended in the universe had taken their eye off us and moved onto creating chaos in someone else’s life

Apparently I was wrong

I think we’re up to 4 (or possibly 5) in [...]

Parenthood in lists – things to do whilst stuck under a feeding baby

Lists thumbnail


1.       Check email

2.       Check facebook

3.       Check twitter

4.       Check facebook

5.       Check twitter

6.       Try and come up with a 7 letter word in your words with friends game

7.       Give up trying and open scrabble cheat

8.       Go back to words with friends because you can’t remember your letters

9.       [...]

Life feels as if it is on fast forward


One minute ago I had only 1 tiny baby, now I have 3 children and none of them is a tiny baby anymore

Suddenly, almost without my noticing, time has zipped away and taken with it moments that I wish I could somehow have banked to have in 10 / 20 / 30 [...]

Fake it until you can make it?

return to work diary


Ah the heady delights of another Monday having rolled around and the prospect of another week at work to look forward to

Another week of commuting and the realisation that you need to be at the top of your game to get a seat these days – getting slightly the wrong patch on [...]

Having it all means learning to fail



I find it strange when people call me a wonder woman or say I have it all – I guess that looking in on our lives from the outside you could be mistaken from thinking I’m managing to juggle family and work and to have it all

Being brutally honest that’s an illusion


Managed to break another child…

broken arm


Talk about the perfect end to a ghastly week – we’ve managed to break another child

Bigger tripped over whilst running around in the garden and managed a super nasty break of her arm – the sort of look at it and feel really rather sick kind of break where things are definitely [...]

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